Blog
Christina Fakhry

9 Things You Can Only Get Away With in Beirut

If you’ve ever had any doubts about Beirut being the most nonsensical city in the whole universe, then you most probably need to count your blessings again.

1. Random parking.

As if double parking was not enough of a hassle to begin with, Lebanese people find it okay to squeeze in (and even triple-park) their cars just about anywhere. They’re also so considerate that they actually turn their flashers on! Like, wow, how otherworldly logical of you! JUST WOW.

2. Celebratory gunfire/fireworks.

I still do not understand how firing gunshots is considered to be a legitimate way of expressing joy. And, I mean, your son passing his brevet exam is by no means a valid reason to blast out fireworks for Logic’s sake. No wonder “Fireworks or gunshots?” has become one of the most prevalent Lebanese dilemmas.

3. Crazy, Stupid, Driving.

Excuse my movie reference but this one’s just too obvious to be explained. Welcome to the jungle! Your horn is your only solace.

4. Blocking roads/burning tires whenever you don’t like something.

Is anything at all upsetting you? Are you in need of a secure place to channel the deepest angers of your heart into? SAY NO MORE. Beirut’s roads are totally your playground. All you need is a tire and some fire.

5. Cutting in line like nothing ever happened.

Even if you’ve been standing in line for like 20 minutes, it is totally normal to have someone casually jump the queue right before your eyes without even bothering to apologize. No one is ever happy to wait for their turn. You either get used to it or end up becoming an impatient line-skipper yourself (you would’ve probably been hurt so many times so it’s perfectly understandable).

6. These billboards…

Depressingly tasteless. Nauseatingly obnoxious. Disgustingly appalling. The person behind this national fiasco is the one who ACTUALLY needs a doctor. Or a whole panel of them.

7. Squeezing half-a-dozen people onto your motorcycle.

Out of all the human wonders you come across on the streets of Beirut, careless motorcyclists are a league of their own. You just never know what their next big move is going to be. The above image serves as one of many examples of the motorcycle hazards you witness during a typical morning commute.

8. Crossing the highway.

Apart from being a traumatic experience for pedestrians and drivers alike, crossing the highway is one of the most unjustifiable yet most prevalent Lebanese practices. Why put your precious life at stake when walking a few extra miles to the nearest bridge/exist would get you to your destination safe (exhausted in some cases, but safe nonetheless)?

9. Smuggling explosives.

The best one yet. Lebanon never ceases to amaze…

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