While you’re at the bank, you’ll be bombarded with countless characters that seem to have been created for a movie, but here are five we can count on seeing every time we visit.

1. The one who acts like a traffic guide for everyone in line.

Tapping on shoulders and whispering for people to be alert for their turn or directing them to the appropriate desk for help. This is the most polite type of client, even making sure the tag of your t-shirt isn’t sticking out or that your purse is fully zipped. Oh, and your phone says you have 3 missed calls and a new Instagram notification, you’re welcome.

2. The one who squeezes up next to you at the tellers desk. 

They insist they are just waiting for their turn, but then break the act of quietly waiting in order to advise you on your finances. The ‘squeezer’ already noticed the family sticker on the back of your car: you have 3 kids and a broken bumper, they also assumed your area residence based on your religious paraphernalia, and your salary based on your watch. You almost find yourself wanting to discuss your financial decisions with them instead of the teller considering their impressive insight - and that’s alright with the teller who just decided to take a lunch break. 

3. The one who carries wads of cash in different currencies in a manilla folder.

 This sweaty client usually rushes through the door directly to a teller who is momentarily free and starts the conversation by throwing out a few quick jokes about the political situation. They continue to cut in line by saying they’re really just finishing business from their last bank visit- so technically it’s still their turn. By the time everyone in line thinks through this logic, the manilla folder client is done and out the door.

4. The one who is on the phone.

 So it is 10 AM on a Monday morning and no one in the bank needs to read the news or go on Facebook at all for the rest of the day. Why you ask? Because this client is doing a dirty deep dish over the phone with her friend Randa, who is currently at her husband’s village but is in the bathroom in order to escape social interaction. Randa also dyed her hair last night but the color makes her look less European than usual - everyone always asks her if she’s 100% Italian - of course she blushes and laughs, never really denying it. Now everyone in the bank knows Randa as well as all the current events and celebrity breakups of the weekend.  

5. The one who is paying back their student/car/housing loans.

 They are a fresh grad begrudgingly counting the cash they just took straight out of their meagre starting salary. This client is observing everyone in line swearing to themselves that they’ll never be like the rest in line when they get older. 


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