RIP awards, you now mean nothing at all.

Awards, which have been around since the dawn of the Olympics (or, whenever) were rendered useless and meaningless when the self-proclaimed Lebanese Kardashians, The Sisters, won one at the 2016 Murex D’Or ceremony.

That’s right, the brainy trio won the award for “digital influencers of the year”. (Thank you so much for influencing me to skip lunch.)

The three sisters attended the ceremony sporting the same shade of lipstick and their signature dead-eyed stare that says, “Where am I?” and “I need water” as seen below:

One of the geniuses, Pamela or something…I don’t know, is there one named Pamela? It seems like there would be. Anyway, genius #2 picked the short straw and had to give a speech and it was just as perfect as anyone can imagine.

She cited a hilarious (read: dumb as fuck) tale about a British reporter allegedly asking The Sisters whether or not their social media posts reflect life in Lebanon. She said, “I’d like to answer him here and now from the Murex D’Or to tell him that this is our country that appreciates beauty and art and creativity.”

First of all, you made him wait an entire day for an answer? Like he asked his question and you were all like, “Uh tune in to MTV tomorrow at 9.”

Secondly, it must be nice to think that the real Lebanon is the one depicted on your social media accounts: a frenzy of Chanel bags, backless dresses, gym selfies, and a heaping pile of upper class privilege.

The best part of this whole ordeal is that the Murex D’or awards were created by two doctors, brothers Fadi and Zahi Helou - please Lord let them be plastic surgeons, my life would be complete. Can you imagine if your cardiologist was busy awarding artists in his spare time between aortic replacements? Someone give that doctor the award for “most misused medical degree of all time”.

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actually this is a comment regarding the comments. wow we lebanese have a really hard time fiving cresit where credit is due to answer a few "wasting" a sunday morning exercising one's gift for sarcasm and social,artistic and general human awareness is a laudable activity. i am going to vehemently disagree that shows like this are needed. as if we are not a dumb struck society already. im sure most pamela's understand the sarcasm in the post. if you are offended, try to hide your "smallness of mind" and refrain from admitting your immaturity. lama, great insight and writing. thanks for the catharsis.

Najla Maalouf on Jun 18, 2016 via for iOS
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Um me neither never knew my name is used for such teshbeeh!!! kindly revise ur article and use the name LAMA for example! as i knew a few stupid lama's in town :)

Pamela Saade on May 31, 2016 via mobile web
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Pamela here! Lol i never knew my name is used to reference ignorant self-centered plastic luxury brands hoarding bimbos but hey you learn something new everyday :D

Pamela Boustany on May 30, 2016 via mobile web