Dear Racist Lebanese People

Dearest racist Lebanese people,

How are you? Have you been well? Have you had the opportunity to insult a black person lately? Cool.

So, for years now you’ve (successfully) worked against allowing migrant workers and non-white people into your precious pools and beaches. You’ve complained to beach management when they’ve allowed housekeepers to swim, citing ‘all the diseases they carry’ as a plausible reason for the heinous exclusion. (Honey, nothing anyone carries can come close to that jacked up strain of HPV you caught in college.)

Image via tenweeksoff.com

God forbid their dark skin should touch the same particles that your precious skin cells are hanging out in. It might deactivate the years of religious application of Creme de la Mer.

But let’s be real for a minute, you small-minded bigots. The trash crisis is threatening the sanctity of your time at Orchid and Iris Beach. It has taken your Monaco-esque beaches and turned them into literal piles of decomposing shit. You are literally swimming around in fecal matter and hazardous waste, it’s funny how that doesn’t bother you while the mere suggestion of a non-white person swimming in your vicinity will send you into a crazy panic.

By funny I mean fucked up, and by fucked up I mean you’re the worst. Please slit your wrists so we can have a better world without you.

Hatefully yours,

P.S We once published an article about beaches that allow domestic workers in, and those who don’t. You can check it out here and boycott the culpable beaches.