Pulling up to the valet:

1. What if this guy is not valet?

2. Never mind, he’s wearing his Nazi-issued VPS uniform

3. I’m going to smile at him really big, maybe then he won’t scratch the shit out of my car

4. Bye, car. I’m sorry

During dinner:

5. He’s going to listen to my music and know that I blast Light FM

6. The car is going to come back smelling like shit, isn’t it?

7. How come the valet guy smells like industrial strength Axe body spray but my car comes back smelling like a farm?

8. My car is probably parked in a ditch right now

9. What if he just leaves with it? Ha ha…he wouldn’t

10. Right?

11. Did I leave that weed in my car? I wouldn’t

12. I would and I did

Waiting for the car outside:

13. What’s that noise? Who could be driving so violently?

14. Oh that’s the valet guy, driving my car. Awesome

15. Does he want 5,000 LL? 7,000 LL?

16. Fuck, he asked for 10!!

17. My mirrors are pointing up. My seat is in a complete recline. Why is the radio blasting dabkeh music?

Fuck it, I should have Uber’d

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Hi the car it so much money vps it not good thy not allow to drive it the car

Jad Saleh on Jul 28, 2016 via web