Haifa is the queen of being hot and lovable, and since my life is a mess, I ventured into her Twitter account for some much-needed guidance, here’s what I came up with.

1. It’s very important to say good morning to the world, repeatedly.

2. And even more important to be dressed in a black leather dress and thigh-high boots when you say your morning salutes.

3. Saying goodnight? Equally important.

4. Also: say hello and you could end up in bondage-inspired gear.

5. Two Haifas is better than one.

6. If I wore this, I would legit look like a beanie baby:

7. Pretty sure the most painful goodbye was the one after I set my ex’s car on fire but agree to disagree.

8. Occasionally grab your tits underneath a tree for a truly blessed Friday.


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