I’m not talking about the complex job titles that pop up over and over (looking at you ‘fiscal coordinators’ AKA accountants), I’m talking about a series of jobs we so desperately need.

1. Public Etiquette Coaches

Image via menaribo.com

These people would have the power to tame and shame anyone, from an obnoxious van driver who runs red lights to idiots who still litter.

2. Snapchat Regulators

Image via dailyedge.ie

You’ve already snapped yourself with dog ears twice today, you’re cut off.

3. Line Up Helpers

Image via dailystar.com.lb

For some reason, standing in line is sometimes a completely foreign idea to Lebanese people. Enter line up helpers, they should have a thing that zaps you when you cut in line a the bank.

4. Honking Task-force

Image via lesothers.com

You blare your car horn? You get slapped. Simple.

5. Reckless Driver Assassins

Especially those idiots who tip their motorbikes back on one wheel.

6. Politician Puncher

Each time a politician lies or embezzles funds, he gets punched in the nuts/ovaries. Fun!

7. Beach Police

These saints would regulate everything beach-related. Is the beach you’re attending trying to slap you with a $40 entrance fee? Are they charging you $20 for a bottle of water? Is someone choking you with their cigar? Enter beach police.

8. Hangover Helpers

Image via chroniclesofabeirutaddict.com

They’ll bring you water and Advil, put your sunglasses on you, and drive you to The Happy Prince for a cheeseburger.

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