Listomania
Lama Hajj

9 Stupid Questions Lebanese People Always Get Asked

Your teachers used to say that there are no stupid questions, but these are pretty bad.

1. Is that next to “the Iraq”?

Oh, white people.

2. Is it safe to live there?

Noooo, I just get by on prayers and magic. Read the fucking news please.

3. Why don’t you move?

Lol okay, I’ll just move then. Hand me my useless passport please!

4. Can you wear shorts?

Only when the church elders give us the green light.

5. Do you have hash?

Well, yeah. I guess that’s not such a stupid one after all.

6. Have you ever been in a car bomb?

Yes, but this conversation is far more painful.

7. How come everyone drinks so much?

Because we have car bombs.

8. How come you speak English?

Skool.

9. Why don’t the Lebanese people just revolt and get rid of their politicians?

Because it would cut into our arguile and vodka time.