So, some of your best friends went abroad to get a masters degree in English crumpets for a year, or maybe they just went for a quick semester abroad. You miss them; you look forward to breaks so you can hang out with them again and have some fun. But your expectations can often be quite different from reality; though you expect smooth and enjoyable visits from your old pals, this is what normally happens:

(Note: I’ll be focusing on London because it is by far the most annoying one.)

1. They’ve acquired an accent

Did you just call that guy a wanker?! I understand that you went on a little journey of fashionable self-discovery, and sure, you got addicted to going to those amazing flea markets, but take off your John Lennon-esque sunglasses and snap out of it. This is BEIRUT, we call people ‘ya ayre’ here. Thank you.

2. They order really weird drinks

“Can I have a Pimms with three drops of grapefruit and five strawberries and a splash of melon soda?” No, no you can’t have any of that.

3. They criticize the country

“Ohhhh you don’t have a metro? In London, we commute so easily by metro! *walks ten steps* This would be so much easier if we could just take the metro.” Really bitch? Sorry, I’ll just gut the entire infrastructure and build a metro immediately so you don’t experience any separation anxiety from your two month stay in London.

4. Stories galore

We get it, you have enjoyable tea times that make you feel fancy and you get to sit in a large park. I must look like Oprah to some people because they will also regale me with long stories about that one night they snuck into a stupid park after dark and peed in the bushes and drank a beer. You had to be there. Great story.

5. You have to do as they please

Of all the ways to annoy their local friends, this one is by far the worst. They’re only here for a few weeks, so be prepared to be dragged to every horrible rooftop bar, then have to satisfy their after-dark manouche cravings from that one place located hours outside of Beirut. Good times.


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