11 People You Meet In Lebanon When You’re Expecting A Baby

Congrats if you just found out you’re pregnant! And welcome to the reality of a mom-to-be. As if dealing with hormones and adapting to your body changing wasn’t enough, you’re bound to put up with some common annoyances too…and they will most probably come in the form of people. Here’s a heads up of who you might expect to “bump” into during your pregnancy. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

1. The Opinionated Person

So you’ve decided to have a C-section and not breastfeed, and you are perfectly fine with your choices. Right until people start interfering and inserting their opinions about said choices. Seriously, you shouldn’t care if they breastfed their kid until they were five, you certainly won’t be doing that.

2. The Belly Rubber

Some people have no boundaries and think it’s perfectly normal and in their right to rub your belly. No, thank you! They’re not Aladdin and the baby isn’t a genie. They just need to accept the fact that your bump is actually attached to the rest of your body and you’re not too fond of people touching it.

3. The Blame-it-on-the-hormones person

If you’re pregnant, you know your hormones are bound to be out of control, it’s something you won’t be able to help. But having to put up with people that will whisper to each other “Haram it’s her pregnancy hormones – that’s why she’s been acting crazy” will definitely push you over the edge.

4. The Detective/Personal Question Asker

They have no boundaries and will interrogate you about everything: How far along are you? Was it an accident or did you mean to get pregnant? How long have you been trying to get pregnant? What position were you in? What name have you picked? Are your boobs sore? Are you constipated?

5. The Gender Guru/Fortune Teller

She will claim to be able to predict if you’re having a boy or a girl with nothing more than a wedding ring and a pair of underwear. She’ll also give you questionable tips on what to eat to make sure you have the gender you want: hommos if you want a girl; baba ghannouj if you prefer a boy.

6. The “You’re Huge” Person

“Are you sure you’re not having triplets?” Thank you. I wasn’t aware of how huge I was until you pointed it out…again. Pregnant women know they have put on weight; they’re carrying another human being for crying out loud!

7. The Ultrasound Technician

They’re either your favorite person (printing perfect photos of your baby), or your least favorite (judgmentally staring at you when you can’t seem to find your own child on the screen).

8. The Horror Story Teller

”Oh my God, when I had Cynthia, I was in labor for 23 hours!” Wow thanks for sharing, that’s not frightening at all. Please keep the horror stories to yourself.

9. The party pooper

They will typically laugh when they know you’re pregnant and share happy thoughts like “Have fun while you still can, because you’ll never grab a drink or take a hike again!” “Get your sleep now, because you won’t be getting any when the baby comes!” Thanks for the pep talk.

10. The Food and Drink Police

“You can’t eat sushi! You’re pregnant!” Thanks very much for pointing that out. Sorry, who are you? “Are you really going to have that glass of wine?” Well flash news lady, if I have to put up with your shit, I sure as hell am going to need one.

11. The Chill People

They are the opposite of the Food and Drink Police, they just want you to relax and chill out, without worrying about things like pasteurization, alcohol intake, or anything at all when you’re pregnant. “I drank beer when I was pregnant and my baby’s just fine! Wait I’m getting you two beers: one for you and one for the baby!” Cheers!