This is a tribute to all our lovely Lebanese mothers; we love you but you can be…intense at times, and that is why there are certain things that we cannot tell you! Here are six of those things:


1. “I lost your Tupperware.”





Run for your life…no seriously, run. God knows Lebanese mothers love their Tupperware more than they love their own kids - or just as much. Don’t bother showing up to the house if you can't find her an exact replacement.


2. “I’m tired.”





This is will automatically turn into a competition of who did more throughout the day and who has the right to be tired…and it’s not you, it’s never you. “Oh did you have to go to work? Did you have to come home and prepare lunch after that? Did you have to do chores after that as well?” Long story short, never complain; she will always one-up you, and rightfully so!


3. “Can I have some more money?”





Let’s face it, our moms are sweethearts; they will hand you the extra money no matter what; BUT, there is always an intense interrogation before. They will ask what you’ve spent all your money on, and so the financial walk of shame begins. You’ll realize how much you spend on food, on nights that you don’t even remember anything from besides the horrible hangover, and that shirt you never really wear…it’s okay, shame is part of feeling alive.


4. “Watte sawtik.” (Lower your voice.)





The loudest people in any room in the world are either Lebanese or Italian; and Lebanese moms are on a whole new level of loud. And somehow, the more public the place, the louder they get! But never, ever ask them to lower their voices, this will lead to a rant of disappointments and shame about how you’re embarrassed of her now, the woman who changed your diapers…all the while using an even louder tone.


5. “This meal isn’t so good.”





"There’s something missing, maybe a dash of salt, or.." NO. STOP IMMEDIATELY! Smile, grit your teeth, and eat your damn meal! This can turn ugly and personal real quick! Save yourself the drama.




6. “Do I really have to go visit your family?”





This is probably the worst thing you could ever say to a Lebanese mom. She will be so angry, and then so emotional, and then so angry again. Don’t open this gate to the emotional underworld of Lebanese moms, I don’t care if she’s dragging you to visit her cousin’s husband’s sister, just suck it up and go! Never say these words unless you feel like being accused of so many absurd things and being looked at like you just murdered a puppy.


[Main image via LebaneseExaminer.com.]

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