Listomania
Lama Hajj

The 19 Commandments Of Living In Beirut

Thou shalt:

1. Expect traffic. Everywhere. All the time.

2. Be ready with thine snacks and coffee, in anticipation of a family friend “dropping in” without warning.

3. Thou shalt, UNDER NO FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCES, sexually harass girls on the corniche.

4. Haveth a favorite shawarma, and be overly passionate about it.

5. Complain about the government.

6. But be sure to never vote!

7. Thou shalt make peace with being charged $5 for a small bottle of water at uppity beaches.

8. Thou shalt never “drop in” to a club and stick your friends with the bill.

9. Honour thy neighbour by not parking in their spot.

10. Honour thy pedestrians if you’re driving.

13. Know that, at any given moment, your zaroubeh detour could shave 5-minutes off your commute, or add 20.

14. Thou shalt never suggest meeting friends in any mall during Christmas.

15. Though shalt not eat a cheeseburger from The Happy Prince without Instagramming the shit out of it.

16. Thou shalt not decline a happy hour.

17. Thou shalt not force people to celebrate your wedding in three separate ceremonies on two different continents.

18. Thou shalt always order extra toum because that’s the only way to enjoy a meal.

19. Thou shalt leave Beirut once a month to chill the fuck out for a bit.