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The 100 Funniest Lebanese Tweets Of 2016
As many of you know, we release a round-up of funny Lebanese tweets every Monday. To celebrate the last Monday in 2016, we’ve compiled them all into one big list. Enjoy!
Post edit: We’re going to be adding some honorable mentions at the start of this list, because you can never have too many funny tweets!
1. Yup:
2. This amazing idea.
3. #Seriously.
4. When you can’t catch a break.
5. HA
6. This summer struggle.
7. Waw.
8. And this joke, that’s still funny.
9. This shortcut.
10. This clairvoyant
11. Tfadalou
12. This flirting observation:
13. Relatable:
14. About premature aging
15. This preemptive comment
16. This struggle
17. Dead:
18. Lebanese dads
19. Lebanese parents
20. This business venture
21. Because Lebanese aunts
22. AUBAUBAUBAUB
23. Lebanese moms
24. Lebanese cutlery
25. This shopping struggle
26. And goodnight
27. Ana kamein…
28. Every.damn.day:
29. Marketing 101 by Mawtoura:
30. This Freudian slip:
31. This gem:
32. Bass:
33. This classic flirt:
34. This tiny note:
35. Can we stop this:
36. ’Tis the season:
37. Touch screen of doom:
38. YES:
39. Holy shit:
40. After season 1 of the Lebanese presidential elections:
41. Crying:
42. Relatable:
43. It’s funny because it’s true:
44. This LUCKY STRIKE (get it?):
45. Oh no he didn’t:
46. This truthful gem:
47. WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN TO SAY:
48. Killer:
49. Unloading the Mohamad Iskandar romance:
50. The Lebanese condition:
51. To enthusiastic political theorists:
52. Shoukran:
53. Gonna start using this:
54. Throwing myself a bone:
55. And this totally relatable reaction:
56. When your mom worries:
57. The gym conundrum:
58. The ultimate truth, courtesy of Mawtoura:
59. Topically hilarious:
60. Same:
61. This burn:
62. #3anjad:
63. Pun-tastic:
64. Hahahahha:
65. Relatable:
66. These well wishes:
67. Ha:
68. The desire is real:
69. Lebanese Mothers’ social media persona isn’t always accurate:
70. Lebanese Mothers have a love/hate relationship with Whatsapp:
71. THE FUNNIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED:
72. This mom-ism:
73. Major غثيان:
74.The truth about Grand Factory:
75. Why tho:
76. Solid weight loss strategy:
77. Really:
78. #Note7:
79. True love:
80. This econ fact:
81. Goal mania:
82. ABSOLUTELY the only way:
83. Sibling generosity:
84. And throwing myself a bone:
85. The classic name change:
86. Accurate:
87. Hahahah:
88. The small victories in life:
89. This important message:
90. Once you pop 🙁
91. Hahaha:
92. Burn:
93. This Wael/Nawal classic cover:
94. Ha!
95. Throwing myself a bone:
96. This betrayal:
97. This legit conspiracy:
98. On getting old(er):
99. So that’s what that is!
100. Isn’t it?
Post edit: We’re going to be adding some honorable mentions at the start of this list, because you can never have too many funny tweets!
And they say long distance relationships dont work pic.twitter.com/xPdqXCEkSF
— NAB. (@Nourwabdelbaki) April 16, 2016
Thank you @Apple for changing the 🔫 to a water gun emoji. You really ended gun violence and we feel more safe in this world. #iOS10
— Nadine Outa🌻 (@NadzOuta) September 13, 2016
*twirls wine*
— Sari (@SariAbiAkar) October 5, 2016
*smells wine*
*drinks wine*
Ah yes, very winey.
Kylie Jenner’s snapchat story if she was Lebanese pic.twitter.com/ncH3eaHmXZ
— Juju off dat beat (@thejuliedagher) May 17, 2016
HANCHAJDHQMBXKQXLQBXKQHXQNGQBXLQDMLGMGM pic.twitter.com/Hdp1su43fQ
— salwa (@letkordeirest) September 24, 2016
Leh album nassif l jdid ka2anno emme 3am tbahdlne whatsApp? pic.twitter.com/YiUDjBKvMN
— Gaúcho (@mariagilmour6) September 1, 2016
Ladies and gentleman, meet my Dad.. pic.twitter.com/05S1ZVvIia
— Diala (@HayekDiala) November 26, 2016
When your ex is sick pic.twitter.com/ixr1D70AfL
— bou fraydo△⃒⃘ (@Hoebloss) December 26, 2016
When you get a good grade at the exam everyone thought you were gonna fail pic.twitter.com/D2VttWLfDV
— 46 & 2 (@IsThatRima) February 29, 2016
I start every song by counting “1-2-3-4” because math gives me the blues.
— Ali Sleeq (@AliSleeq) December 10, 2016
#DWTSME
— Éliane Abi-Sleiman (@ElianeA_S) November 6, 2016
Valerie appears.
Lebanese twitter: pic.twitter.com/u3aeiSgZJt
Befham menkoun enno eza ma ma3e 1000$ ma fiye eshar barrat el beit 3a ras el sene?
— Joey Badr (@AtJoeyB) December 27, 2016
1. Yup:
Secular in the streets. Sectarian as fuck in the sheets.
— The Official Dude (@Ink184) October 12, 2016
– Lebanese Twitter
2. This amazing idea.
X: We’re getting married!
— Cⁿ (@Ckay0) June 26, 2016
Me: Awwww! Whennnnn!?
X: July 20th
Me: *books flight on July 20*
3. #Seriously.
I can’t believe that bombings are still taking place after all the hashtags we came up with.
— Bernie Batrouni (@Batrouni) February 19, 2014
4. When you can’t catch a break.
me: [sinks into existential despair]
— Chafic (@FrenchFritz) February 22, 2016
existential despair: I have a boyfriend
5. HA
Hospitals be like: “looking for someone who can’t cook for a chef position. Apply now”.
— Anis Tabet (@AnisTabet23) June 25, 2016
6. This summer struggle.
عم باكل بزر مع شويّة بطيخ
— Inédith Piaf (@Piaafff) June 21, 2016
7. Waw.
عرس كتير كلاس.. العالم عم تكب quinoa عالعرسان من البلاكين
— Jad Bou Karam (@OHMYJAD) June 26, 2016
8. And this joke, that’s still funny.
تذكرت نكتة كتير 11ème B..مرة سلحفة فاتت عمطعم اجا المدير قلها نحنا ما منستقبل سلاحف وشاطها من الباب رجعت بعد سنة تقلو: “هيدا مش اسلوب”☝️
— Grace (@grhajj) June 23, 2016
9. This shortcut.
gonna change my dad’s name in my contacts to “waynak” :p
— Joe. (@JoeKaoun) June 23, 2016
10. This clairvoyant
و انا كمان هيك بتوقع. pic.twitter.com/7fH2SW9enr
— Mawtoura (@mawtoura) June 27, 2016
11. Tfadalou
When people send pictures of food and say tfadalou pic.twitter.com/OLVQUohaQW
— Yasmine (@yasminebal) January 9, 2016
12. This flirting observation:
Girl on whatsapp: hahaahahhaha Guy: helwe dehektek
— Batoul (@Batoul291) July 23, 2013
13. Relatable:
Bas yeje la 3enna dyouf
— Husam (@husam_f97) December 9, 2016
Me: pic.twitter.com/kYhgBOdJds
14. About premature aging
جارتنا سمحت لبنتها يلي عمرها ١٢ تروح تحتفل بال2nd anniversary مع حبيبها.
— Adele (@Adele__J) May 17, 2016
أنا بعمرها كنت فكّر إنو روزالندا حبلت لأن خوان كارلوس مسكلها إيدها.
15. This preemptive comment
من هلأ يلي بدو يشارك بمسابقات شهر رمضان التلفزيونية رجاءً اسمعهم من التلفون مش من التلفزيون
— Naji (@Najjiraffe) May 30, 2016
16. This struggle
*answers phone*
— Ninar (@NinarElkak) September 6, 2013
Alô,eh hon yala
Hamdla khedé mom
Tamem khedé 7ki mom
Bisalmo khedé mom
Ehh mne7 khedé mom
Wlk khedé mom alla yekhdik tante.
17. Dead:
Dad: “Dakhlik mich lezim nrouh nche22 3ala Elie?”
— Chup. (@Tchuuup) December 6, 2016
*pulls out black book*
Mum: “ma eja cha22 3lek August 22nd 1995 fa yekoul khara.”
18. Lebanese dads
“ana kent mfakkar inno Taylor Swift sabe” – my dad #sundays
— Maryam Badran (@maryambadran) July 3, 2016
19. Lebanese parents
*Sits on the couch,nobody talks to me*
— Ahmad (@AhmaddOssaily) June 7, 2016
15 min later
*still sitting, nobody talks*
*Grabs phone*
-khallik 3al whatsapp enta, jil ta2 hanak
20. This business venture
3am fakkir efta7 resto-pub-club-lounge-sushi-shawarma. A la Libanaise ya3ne!
— Ciryl (@cyrillreaidy) March 15, 2014
21. Because Lebanese aunts
“Patrick dobb l atari!” my aunt talking about my PS3
— باتريك ج. ح. (@PatHadd) June 22, 2013
22. AUBAUBAUBAUB
– Hey how are u?
— ● (@FlenLFoulene) November 7, 2013
– Fine. Just left the AUB
– How was ur day?
– it was amazing at AUB
– What are u doing tonight?
– Studying coz I go to AUB
23. Lebanese moms
If I had a dollar for every time mom sent me a voice note on whatsapp just to tell me “ok”
— Tarek Haddad (@TkHaddad) June 22, 2016
24. Lebanese cutlery
بكل مطبخ لبناني في ٧٥ سكّين، وتنين منهُن بقصّو بسّ.
— Charly (@CharlyTweetin) June 10, 2016
25. This shopping struggle
Mwazafin mahalet l tyeb be like:
— Vanessa Aoun (@vanessaoun) May 29, 2016
-“toli3 dayi2 fi akbar?”
-“Boukra byousa3 3al ghasil”
-“Toli3 wesi3 fi azghar?”
-“Boukra bizem 3al ghasil”
26. And goodnight
يلا بعد ٩٪ وبنام
— kreenbf ⌛️ (@kreenbf) June 16, 2016
27. Ana kamein…
Wehyet emme baarif chu lfare2 bein “Push” w “Pull” bas ma baarif chu biserle eddem l beb …
— Nassim S. Zoueini (@NassimZoueini) September 22, 2015
28. Every.damn.day:
My whatsapp conversation with mum every single day :
— Nayla Nicolas (@NaylaNicolas) May 11, 2013
Mom: wsolte?
Me: eh
Mom: mtawle?
Me: la2
Mom: ok ntebhe 3a 7alik
29. Marketing 101 by Mawtoura:
Restaurants be like *We introduced our new menu*
— Mawtoura (@mawtoura) July 18, 2016
i.e. ghallayna as3arna fa ghayyarna el design la ma t7esso.
30. This Freudian slip:
guys badel ma oul la emme eno 3ande diarrhea bel ghalat eltella jeyetne 😭😭
— venus as a boy (@brokeassbob) December 13, 2016
31. This gem:
Ziad Al Rahbani walks into an Italian restaurant and orders a pizza bala wala cheese.
— Tawa (@TawaNicolas) November 16, 2013
32. Bass:
No, your family name is not “Burberry”, it’s Berberi. #BassBa2a
— Misfit. (@_nikkiie_) October 13, 2016
33. This classic flirt:
Jessica Alba’s boyfriend: Jessica?
— Nicole (@Niculotte) October 13, 2013
Jessica Alba: Alba
34. This tiny note:
في ناس فهمانة انو فيروز بس الصبح، ع فكرة هيي فنانة مش منقوشة زعتر.
— Rawan (@Rawannn7) February 7, 2014
35. Can we stop this:
إن ضروري نمسك واجبات ؟؟
— Adele (@Adele__J) November 1, 2015
-HELLO NOVEMBER
-نوفمبر: أهلا حبيبتي هيدي إنتي؟ اسمالله شو فارقة عليي من السنة الماضية!
36. ’Tis the season:
*rains once*
— Sara (@Sam3ouuul) November 2, 2016
*gets flu for 738392 days*
37. Touch screen of doom:
*wipes screen while phone is on*
— Claude (@ClaudeAkel) November 1, 2016
-Blocks 5 people
-Unfollows 3
-Orders pizza
-Texts ‘i miss you’ to ex.
38. YES:
Moms are so sweet
— Don Carl Abou Jaoude (@DonJaoude) September 19, 2016
And kind
And loving
.
.
.
.
.
Until you scratch the tefal with a spoon 🐸
39. Holy shit:
I think this guy just ended war pic.twitter.com/WrJETgh3P1
— Gae (@GaelleFarah1) October 29, 2016
40. After season 1 of the Lebanese presidential elections:
can’t believe we have to wait 6 years for season 2
— bil∆lt-j (@silentwandererr) October 31, 2016
41. Crying:
When 130 of your facebook friends say that they are coming to your event. pic.twitter.com/WAWFHHFbBt
— محمود غزيّل (@ghazayel) November 2, 2016
42. Relatable:
Pre exams stress level: when Kim Kardashian lost her $75,000 earring in the ocean.
— Ninar (@NinarElkak) November 2, 2016
43. It’s funny because it’s true:
[لمّا اللبناني بينزل بجورة]
— Jad Bou Karam (@OHMYJAD) November 3, 2016
اخت الدّولة امتين رح يظبطوانا الطريق؟
[لمّا تقرّر الدولة تظبّط]
اللبناني: اخت الدّولة هلّق نحشرو يظبطوها؟؟
44. This LUCKY STRIKE (get it?):
Khay lhamdela I didn’t get the “عجز جنسي” pic.twitter.com/GuZYPDvW7X
— ريتشي (@Mamivader) November 2, 2016
45. Oh no he didn’t:
بصراحه انا حامل هم بيل كلينتون كيف بدو يتحمل هيلاري بالبيت بعد سقوطها
— Wiam Wahhab (@wiamwahhab) November 9, 2016
46. This truthful gem:
There’s no caps lock in Arabic because in Arabic we are always yelling.
— Tawa (@TawaNicolas) March 17, 2014
47. WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN TO SAY:
#beirutis i keep receiving msgs from #thedietcenter … is the world trying to tell me something?
— Yara Almously (@YaraNAlmously) November 7, 2016
48. Killer:
[On a date]
— Engie (@angiealrassi) November 6, 2016
Me: At least we have a strong connection.
Him: What connection cause you’re kinda ignoring me?
Me: Oh I meant the wifi.
49. Unloading the Mohamad Iskandar romance:
بيل كلينتون: بيكفي انك رئيسة جمهورية قلبي. pic.twitter.com/AdF8vqw3T6
— munz (@munz84) November 9, 2016
50. The Lebanese condition:
I’m not stuck in traffic. I live in traffic.
— ( ˘ ³˘) Pow (@lilianechlela) November 8, 2016
51. To enthusiastic political theorists:
حبيبتي إذا سافرتي ٦ أياما عند خالتك ع أميركا مش يعني تصرعي سما سمانا ب تحليلاتك الاستراتجية الدولية عن ترامب و كلينتون .
— Adele (@Adele__J) November 9, 2016
كفى أرجوكي !!!
52. Shoukran:
جارتي العزيزة… فيكي بليز بلا قليّة البصل والكزبرة والتوم على الصبح…#نداء_إنساني
— Cynthia Zeinoun (@CynthiaZeinoun) November 9, 2016
53. Gonna start using this:
In Lebanon we don’t say “I’m sleepy” we say “3youne aam b niko baadon” and I find that beautiful
— Danierys (@DanieFakhry) November 6, 2016
54. Throwing myself a bone:
When you become a fashionista do they automatically give you macarons or do you have to earn them?
— Lama H (@LamaBeirut) November 5, 2016
55. And this totally relatable reaction:
When you hear “3a2belik”. #kawaleesbeirut #kawaleesgifs#kawaleeswedding pic.twitter.com/YlF6YLMBrX
— Kawaleesbeirut (@kawaleesbeirut) September 3, 2016
56. When your mom worries:
Lebanese moms right now:
— YASSΞR (@obeidi_yasser) July 15, 2016
*on phone* Get ur ass home there’s a coup in Turkey.
57. The gym conundrum:
قبل الgym: كنت زلمي كسلان
— Jad Bou Karam (@OHMYJAD) November 11, 2016
بعد ال gym: صرت زلمي كسلان مقروط ب $٦٠
58. The ultimate truth, courtesy of Mawtoura:
— Mawtoura (@mawtoura) November 15, 2016
59. Topically hilarious:
Eza nos7it bet sir Melyania Trump.
— Wael Saad (@saadwael) November 15, 2016
60. Same:
University is soup
— Noor (@itsnourx1) October 12, 2016
Im a fork
61. This burn:
are you a terms & conditions document?
— Tarek Haddad (@TkHaddad) October 27, 2013
’cause ma 7ada 2areek
62. #3anjad:
في #اليوم_العالمي_للتسامح لن نسامح من ابتكر فكرة برنامج #المسامح_كريم
— Adam Chamseddine (@adamchams) November 16, 2016
63. Pun-tastic:
Cashier be like :
— King (@carenshaar) July 21, 2014
Ana ma Barcode wara hadan
64. Hahahahha:
*Leb baby crying*
— Faléflix™ (@faleflix) November 12, 2016
Leb Wife: plz ghayyer l bébé
Me: *2 hours later* hayda ekher Bébé b Hotel Dieu, mafina nbaddil ba2a
LW: chou
Me: chou
65. Relatable:
” Law ma el attendance ma kenet wsolet la hon.”
— Ӈ (@Hasn095) November 4, 2016
– Me during my graduation speech
66. These well wishes:
أنا دايما بتمنى لسواقين الفان والتاكسيات الصحة والعافية خاصة لما كون قاعدة عالشباك لي وراه و يبزق من الشباك، ما بدنا ننعدى بشي يعني
— Dina liz (@dinaliz2) November 17, 2016
67. Ha:
No money November is going well so far
— Ralph (@Ralph_Aoun) November 12, 2016
68. The desire is real:
الرغبة الجنسية
— Ramy and 3 others (@Ramyatrouny) November 3, 2016
هي عبارة عن رغبتي في الحصول على جنسية تانية …
69. Lebanese Mothers’ social media persona isn’t always accurate:
Lebanese Moms:
— Myrnz. (@Piiggglet) March 28, 2016
_on fb:el masi7iyi wel isleem id we7de ma shi bfarri2on
_In real life:eza binti btekhod men geyr dinna la enjelet deghri
70. Lebanese Mothers have a love/hate relationship with Whatsapp:
X: Mom I have HIV
— يارا عاصي (@Yara_Assi) August 7, 2016
MOTHER: eh hayda la2an betdall 3al whatsapp#LebaneseMothers
71. THE FUNNIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED:
“Pumpkin Spice latte for Sharmouta” @LebaneseProblem pic.twitter.com/hU8WtL9g1z
— Sarab (@sarah_bassil_) October 13, 2016
72. This mom-ism:
Why are all arabic songs based on things my mom tells me pic.twitter.com/nmiUG2pxV5
— MÉLISSAHAHAHA (@uneballout) October 18, 2016
73. Major غثيان:
عبارات تسبب الغثيان:
— Mhّmd (@Dnk4r) September 3, 2016
Challenge Accepted
Hacked
Likers
منوّر يا غالي
خخخخخخخ
Wake me up when September ends
Vacation mode ON
Best day ever
74.The truth about Grand Factory:
Yes Beirutis… Welcome to #TheGrandFactory of LIES!
— Yara Almously (@YaraNAlmously) October 18, 2016
75. Why tho:
Question every Arab kid has been asked by a non-Arab kid:
— Nasri Atallah (@NasriAtallah) August 22, 2016
“Why does your mom call you mom?”
76. Solid weight loss strategy:
I’m one flu away from my goal weight #goodborning
— Le Haber إسكندر (@Alxhabr) August 13, 2016
77. Really:
It’s 2016 and Lebanese still use plastic chairs to reserve parking spots.
— Calypso (@Nevnaya) October 18, 2016
This metal box I drive couldn’t care less.
78. #Note7:
Samsung users be like pic.twitter.com/xfmtSqHsrE
— BloodOnTheSide (@sareen_ak) October 17, 2016
79. True love:
In Lebanon, they don’t say “I love you”, they say “da3fane”, and I think that’s beautiful.
— Jenna Chami (@JennaChami) October 17, 2016
80. This econ fact:
my economics instructor kenit 3am t2oul eno kel shi ghele so i replied with “ela l 3alam rokhsit” fa shahatetne men l saf im mad
— Joe. (@JoeKaoun) October 18, 2016
81. Goal mania:
“omggggg your shoes shu goalssss” EKHTE WEN L GOALSSSS RUHE SHTERE WAHAD
— Myr (@Myrnaabdallah) October 17, 2016
82. ABSOLUTELY the only way:
How to stay positive in life :
— abedv (@AbeddMneimneh) October 17, 2016
| Life |
83. Sibling generosity:
When mom says “treke shwey knefe la khayyik” pic.twitter.com/qUC4e4CMcP
— gælle (@gaelle_yaacoub) October 8, 2016
84. And throwing myself a bone:
“A handful of almonds is a great snack!” – my enemies
— Lama H (@LamaBeirut) September 26, 2016
85. The classic name change:
Esma: فرح طربي
— Anakin. (@anastasiahachem) June 24, 2015
-Goes to “USJ”
*changes name to “Joy Torbéy”..*
86. Accurate:
Is this an homage to our valets? #رجل_المواقف
— endless blankets (@christinafakhry) November 22, 2016
87. Hahahah:
– Shou bet7ebbe tkoune bel 7ayet?
— Cⁿ (@Ckay0) November 22, 2016
– شتلة pic.twitter.com/XuuK9iNXVm
88. The small victories in life:
Did I do something good today? Today I didn’t throw acid on the guy who started a third lane in traffic. And I didn’t eat ice-cream.
— How i take my coffee (@Nadynchalhoub) November 15, 2016
89. This important message:
There’s nothing as special as someone who wants to spend some physical time with you.
— gabrielghali (@gabrielghali) November 22, 2016
Don’t fuck it up with your phone.
-sent from iphone
90. Once you pop 🙁
Me while eating pringles:
— Hanaa not Sam (@isamwise) December 27, 2015
-Bs kam wehde.
-Khalas busal lal nos w bwa2if.
-kam wehde ba3ed.
-Aslan ba3d fi kam wehde ma meherze khaliyon.
91. Hahaha:
X: can i come over to your dorm?
— فرح (@Farah_Salhab) November 22, 2016
Me: pic.twitter.com/dWt7mbsqiA
92. Burn:
I live with my parents and I’m more independent than Lebanon. #IndependenceDay
— Paula K. (@paulakhaty) November 22, 2016
93. This Wael/Nawal classic cover:
♫♫♫ pic.twitter.com/YBwIMnhxv3
— Mawtoura (@mawtoura) October 10, 2016
94. Ha!
لا بأحلامك، لا بأوهامك pic.twitter.com/gcGrNuhvWs
— Hana Baraket (@HanaBaraket) October 11, 2016
95. Throwing myself a bone:
My dog keeps shaking my hand I think she wants to go into business together
— Lama H (@LamaBeirut) May 12, 2016
96. This betrayal:
When you’re ordering from your usual place and the operator asks you about your adress pic.twitter.com/mnHKgrEvOR
— Sara (@Sam3ouuul) October 11, 2016
97. This legit conspiracy:
هل تعلم ما معنى كلمة نيتفلكس؟ نيت اختصار لنيتينياهو، فليكس من الكورن فليكس وهو يحتوي على دهن خنزير انشرها بقدر حبك لmbc2
— pamela ghanem (@pamoula) January 7, 2016
98. On getting old(er):
When you turn 34, all of your descriptions about going clubbing sound like war stories.
— Nasri Atallah (@NasriAtallah) October 10, 2016
99. So that’s what that is!
Park your car the lebanese way. A spot for you, another for your ego.
— Roma (@Legnus_) October 13, 2016
100. Isn’t it?
when someone tells u “i like your tattoos” i guess “m2adamin” isnt the right answer
— Joe. (@JoeKaoun) October 12, 2016