Myriam Klink has got to be my very favorite person — if only for the fact that she makes me feel very well put together and sane in comparison. It’s also fun to see what my life would have been like if I had slightly bigger tits and was a lot more narcissistic.

But really Myriam is super accomplished and talented you guys, she had that one song about her cat and…that’s it - but it was a really intense song.

But the big question is, with all this fame and success, why does Myriam’s bedroom look like that of a 12-year old girl?




It has teddy bears strewn all over it. We’re talking DOZENS OF TEDDY BEARS, stacked and lined up in a sea of pink - like trophies from every teen relationship that was ever plagued by a gift shop purchase. She also has gaudy gift boxes, the type you’d buy at Thierry’s Friends when you were a kid and fill it up with shitty soap and trinkets before handing it to your shitty boyfriend.

The only thing that doesn’t belong to a 12-year old in her room is Myriam’s tits. Those belong to the Lebanese Association of Plastic Surgery.






You may be wondering at this point, when did I get the pleasure of visiting Myriam’s bedroom? Well, I didn’t - yet. But I have high hopes that after this post gets published, Myriam will reach out to me on Facebook and we’ll meet up to get vagazzled (vaginal bejeweling) together like all the cool kids do.

I got to see her bedroom in a video she posted on Instagram of her gyrating and dancing to Russian Roulette by Rihanna, a song to which she clearly does not know the lyrics.


My favorite part is the caption, honestly.



Thank you, Sun Tzu. This truly is the missing chapter of Art of War.


You can watch the amazing interpretive dance here:




I watch this video and I think, wow - Myriam truly is a tiger. Not that she’s sexy but that she’s endangered due to the presence of books and education.

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