Blog
Christina Fakhry

The 10 Most Annoying Lebanese Behaviors And How to Deal With Them

If you’ve lived in Lebanon for longer than 10 consecutive years and haven’t yet had one nervous breakdown, then you must be an impossibly blessed celestial creature with supreme psycho-emotional endurance that shouldn’t have clicked on this article in the first place. But if you happen to be a perishable piece of human flesh just like every one of us, then you must’ve been deeply bothered by one or more of these behaviors at some point in your miserable existence.

1. When you’ve been waiting in line for so long and someone casually decides to jump the queue right before your eyes.

How to deal with it: Cutting in is a cultural staple of living in Lebanon. The best thing to do in this case would be to *firmly* and *straightforwardly* ask the person in question to step aside and wait for their turn. Don’t be disrespectful but don’t be shy either! An if they start to mumble nonsense instead of apologizing (the likely scenario), you can always ignore them and proceed with your life in peace.

2. When you’re stuck in really bad traffic and the motorist next to you deems it to be the perfect time to intimately overtake your vehicle.

How to deal with it: Just keep rolling steadily without giving them a single parcel of your attention. And if they get too close, you may upgrade to a cold, unwavering, soul-shattering gaze. You are by no means supposed to surrender and go the extra mile to make space for such parasitical creatures every time.

3. When you’re tranquilly standing at a red light and the driver behind you starts beeping like there’s no tomorrow.

How to deal with it: Smile. It drives them even crazier. [You might also want to cover your ears if the noise pollution gets too intense.]

4. When you’re driving full-speed on the highway and a pedestrian suddenly decides to suicide-cross to the other side.

How to deal with it: BRAKES. BRAKES. AND THEN SOME. Get those car brakes and anatomical reflexes checked on a regular basis. You can also head to the Nahr El Kalb highway for extra practice (JUST KIDDING, DON’T).

5. When you’re scrolling down your Facebook timeline and stumble upon one of those nauseatingly clickbait-y Arabic news headlines.

How to deal with it: Trashy, misplaced and sexualized news deadlines have been mushrooming lately due to Lebanese websites’ increasing reliance on clickbait to drive engagement. And if you’re one of those people who are seriously fed up with lexical nonsense and genuinely concerned about the future of journalism in our country, then you are kindly requested to hide such posts from your timeline and then proceed to unlike, block or report corresponding pages for good.

6. When someone makes senseless comments about your weight/appearance every single time you see them.

How to deal with it: Whatever you do, don’t just smile and go along with it. Either ignore the perpetrator’s remark completely or simply make it clear that you do not approve of their recurrent behavior once and for all. And if they feel ‘offended’, bon débarras!

7. When you’re trying to express your opinion in a meeting but your colleague just wouldn’t stop talking.

How to deal with it: Please do not bite your lips in regret and leave the meeting without uttering a word. You can either wait for that little breath in between two words and jump in subtly with your idea or just ask jokingly for your turn. And if it gets unbearable, take heart and interrupt with class.

8. When you’re walking down the street and someone resorts to catcalling in a vain attempt to draw your attention.

How to deal with it: Respond to sexist arrogance with extra confidence! At a first stage, keep walking confidently while either ignoring the hell out of their existence or staring/shouting the hell back at them until they are utterly intimidated and out of sight. And when catcalling brushes upon straight-up harassment, speak up and report the offender to the designated authorities immediately.

9. When you share a harmless opinion on social media and people randomly get offended/start to attack you.

How to deal with it: As a journalist, I’d say refrain from wasting your precious time and mental capacities trying to formulate a rational reply to irrational comments. But if you have a strong clap-back that is too good to repress and not too childish/harmful, then you might as well go for it.

10. When people expect you to work for free/do not give you the right compensation for your effort.

How to deal with it: Life involves a lot of give and take but there is a huge difference between compromise and abuse. Small favors for friends/strangers in times of need may be a necessity, yet extended unpaid internships/work samples and exhausting underpaid jobs/projects are definitely not. Even when you’re not in a power position, be smart and discerning enough to stand up for your rights and speak up against manipulation (comes at a price but worth it!).