Dear Ivy,
I think I like one of my friends, but I feel like we’re totally different types of people. I know opposites attract, but is it worth getting into a relationship that I feel is bound to fail because of lack of similarities?
You’ll never find out if you don’t give it a shot. Different can be good. But it depends. If you’re a clubber and he/she is more of a couch potato, then making plans are going to become a pain. It all really comes down to how many concessions you’re willing to make for the relationship to work. And judging from your pessimistic view, you’re probably not planning on making many.
Dating friends is a touchy matter; if the relationship turns sour you’re probably going to lose him/her. But if the attraction between the two of you is too strong to resist, then perhaps you should consider becoming “friends with benefits” – you’ll enjoy the perks of both!
Dear Ivy,
I was asked out by a person several months ago, and turned them down. I now feel like that might have been a mistake. How do I let them know without seeming flippant? Or should I just let it go?
I’m not gonna lie to you, this change of heart will raise some red flags. The first thing that came to my mind when I read your question was: “Were you hung up on someone else before?” Since the person was brave enough to ask you out and get turned down, you should definitely call him/her up and invite them out for a coffee or drinks.
But wait! Before you make that move you need to do some undercover investigation. The last thing you want to do is call them up only to find out they’ve moved on with someone else. Save yourself the embarrassment and ask around. If the coast is clear then just come right out and say it: you’ve changed your mind and would like to reconsider the offer. They’ll appreciate your forwardness and you’ll save yourself the stress from beating around the bush.
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Have a question you’d like to know the answer to? Email her at tell.ivy@gmail.com.