Dear Ivy: What Do I Do When His Mother Disapproves?

Dear Ivy,

I’ve been dating for my boyfriend a little longer than a year now. Basically, my guy recently confessed that his mother doesn’t want him to date me because she doesn’t approve of me. He wouldn’t go into details, but it’s clear she doesn’t want things to work out between us. What can I do to win her approval?

Good thinking. A girl can never and I mean NEVER embark on a successful relationship with a Lebanese man if his momma don’t approve- no matter how much he tries to convince you otherwise. You are right to try to win her over. Let me tell you something about Lebanese mothers, they adore their sons and no matter how smart, sweet or pretty you are you’ll never be good enough. Full stop. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. First and foremost, if she cooks, compliment her skills, no matter how bad they may be. Tell her how much you’d love to cook like HER one day, better yet, ask her if shell teach you. If she’s not the type to slave over a hot oven, find another one of her interests and make it your own. If she’s more of a coffee and chit chat kinda mom, bake something sweet and take it over to your boyfriend’s place. She’ll see a wholesome caring girl that genuinely cares about her son and his family.

Dear Ivy,

We’ve been together for three years, we live together, we share a life together. She has gone from “putting on a few pounds” to “fuck it, i can eat an entire glazed ham because he’ll love me no matter what” kind of attitude. Previous attempts to tell her how I feel have resulted in 5-hour long crying sessions and self-loathing. She is a great girl and I love who she is on the inside, but it’s hard to get turned on by her from the outside. Can I get some advice?

Mmm glazed ham. Just kidding.

No one can expect unconditional love from their better halves especially when they decide to pack on the pounds; it’s a choice she is making for the both of you, as cruel as that sounds, especially in a society that’s so skinny obsessed.

You need to get that girl on a treadmill ASAP. But you may not be the one to break it to her. If she’s really just enjoying her food then you telling her to take it easy shouldn’t send her off on a crying spell. Clearly she’s developed some serious sensitivity issues to her binging which means she’s probably over-indulging for a reason. Do you know if she used to be overweight at a younger age? Has she always been insecure? You need to do some digging. But watch out you’re treading on some murky waters. The last thing you want is for her over-protective girlfriends to get wind of this- you can go from concerned loving boyfriend to Asshole who’s turned off from a few pounds in seconds.

Want more from Ivy? Check out her blog.

Have a question you’d like to know the answer to? Email her at tell.ivy@gmail.com.