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How Do I Make It Official?
Dear Ivy,
I’ve been dating this guy for nearly two months, and thus far it’s been casual. We seem pretty relationship-y now, and though I’m usually not a “label” kind of girl, I feel like we should make it official. I’ve been making most of the moves so far, and I kind of want him to be the one to ask this time around. How do I make that happen without actually having to say it?
– I Want To Be His Girlfriend
What does make it official mean? Tag each other on Facebook as in a “relationship”?
I’m a firm believer in the natural evolution of things and at two months, putting some sort of pressure on your new man may be risky. Here’s the thing, you can date a guy for two weeks and find yourself moving in on the third like it’s the most normal thing in the world. But that usually occurs when you’re both on the exact same wavelength. If you’re looking for some sort of affirmation from him in the form of a label and he seems clueless about the whole thing then he probably isn’t ready and rightfully so. If it’s not broken don’t fix it.
Unless he’s been introducing you as a friend rather than “the girl he’s seeing” than you should give the relationship some time before declaring yourself as the leading lady in his life. Unless you plan on getting engaged in 6 months, then you better hurry 😉
Dear Ivy,
I’ve been with my fiance for about two years now, and he recently decided he didn’t want to marry me. I was heartbroken and confused, and we exchanged some hurtful words. Fast forward a couple weeks later and he wants to get back together. I still love him but I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with him if he thinks running is a way out. What do I do?
– Is My Ex-Fiance Worth It?
I can’t really answer that question without understanding why he broke things off with you in the first place. Did you go all Bridezilla on him and demand he accompanies you to dance lessons for your first dance as man and wife? Is it the Foxtrot? I would run too.
Just kidding, but judging from the fact that he’s back shows it’s probably not something you did.
When a guy proposes it’s a big deal and an even bigger commitment. The fact that your man changed his mind the first time around isn’t a good sign. The fact that he’s back again further reveals his clear indecisiveness and inability to make a decision and stick to it. Being uncertain about pasta or steak for dinner is ok, but it’s not ok to change your mind about the person you’re supposed to share the rest of your life with. If you think he’s genuinely sorry, make him suffer a little then take him back. If he still seems unsure, then you should probably decline.
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Have a question you’d like to know the answer to? Email her at tell.ivy@gmail.com.
