Dear Ivy: How Do I Fix My Sex Life?

Dear Ivy,
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I’m 28 and he’s 30. Recently, I decided to talk to him about our general lack of sex. He said that I turn him on, but he just doesn’t get horny that much because he’s spent so much time in the past watching porn (he’s given up porn for a few months now) and also, he said he gets self-conscious about finishing too quickly. I’m sexually frustrated and for some reason a part of me doesn’t believe him! But I don’t want to accuse him of lying after he’s opened up to me. What should I do?

Please take this little example I’m going to give you with an open mind.

Let’s say you love burgers, like really love them, in fact you’re such a fan that you’ve decided to have them every day (let’s also suppose they’re fat-free) now imagine how you’d feel having straight in a row for say a month, throw in another year or two. Now tell me how you feel about that burger. I’m guessing you probably want to have your burger in another way now, you know, perhaps you’d like to throw in some extra toppings or some jalapeños .

Now I’m aware that comparing your sex life to a burger might be slightly harsh, but what I’m trying to say here is that sometimes a person can love something so much but still feel like perhaps you want to change things up.

So make that extra effort, shave your legs even if you think he hasn’t been noticing the stubs and get yourself a new hair cut. I’m not saying he lost interest in you I’m just saying perhaps he wants you with some extra sauce 😉

Dear Ivy,
I caught my boyfriend looking at pictures of his ex-girlfriend on Facebook. I confronted him about it, and he admitted he looks at her photos every once in a while, but says it’s because he’s being a Facebook voyeur – just looking – but that it doesn’t actually mean anything to him. What do you think, Ivy?

I think your boyfriend is indulging in one of the best guilty pleasures Facebook can offer. Facestalking. Are you telling me that you don’t occasionally wonder whatever happened to that guy you dated awhile back? So what if he wanted to know what happened to his ex, who she ended up with, if she they gained weight or finally got around to getting that nose job she always whined about, or whether she’s better off without him or miserable. Your man could be mad about you and still have all these thoughts. We are curious by nature–I know I am. So don’t be a kill joy, get on Facebook and stalk your ex today.

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