Dear Ivy: Politics Is Getting in the Way of Our Relationship

Dear Ivy,
My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. He’s very politically involved and just so happens to disagree with my father completely when it comes to political topics. Needless to say, every family gathering turns into a shouting match. What should I do?

Oh dear! Everyone in this town has written the book on politics but please don’t tell me that your guy is actually getting into an argument with your father during family gatherings. What is he trying to do, break up with you? I get that it’s hard for us to sit back and listen to someone lecture us on something we really don’t believe in, but this subject should totally be avoided all together.

The blame doesn’t just fall on your man here; your father should be more sensitive to his affiliations as well, so you, my friend, need to lay down the law. That’s right, neither your dad nor your boyfriend would have ever met if it weren’t for YOU. And those two need to take that into consideration before they get into another spat. No one is asking them to change political teams; they just need to realize that despite all their differences they have you in common.

Dear Ivy,
My girlfriend of two months wants me to attend her family friends’ wedding with her and I’m avoiding it all costs. I’m not stupid I know what this means in Lebanon, that we are serious and we are not. Her parents are also going to be there and I’ll be meeting them for the first time. I like her and we are having a great time but by no means do I intend to make her think this relationship is something it isn’t. How do I tell her this without hurting her feelings?

You are 100% right. Let me tell you why: I would never recommend you go as anyone’s plus one to a wedding unless you are ready to hear an endless barrage of “3abeilakons”. And most of the time weddings trigger some fairytale emotions in women where suddenly she’s going to glance at you and give you the “that should be us” look.

Don’t get me wrong, if this were some random friend’s wedding I’d advise you to have an open mind and go, but you don’t want her parents to get the wrong idea as well so use this opportunity to let her know that you think it’s too soon. If she’s trouble, she’ll throw a tantrum and dump you. If she’s a smart one, she’ll comfort you, tell you that your concerns are absurd and date you a little more until you can’t live without her.

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