Listomania
Sara Samad

Eighteen Awkward Moments All Lebanese Have Experienced at Some Point

Awkward situations are the bane of my existence. They’re horrible, uncomfortable and just plain unnecessary. Needless to say, we Beirutis have a few awkward situations unique to our territory, and you’ve probably witnessed one of these firsthand.

1. Getting stuck in the elevator with random people because the electricity cut.

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“So, what floor do you live on? Yeah, the weather is pretty nice.”

2. Confusing 100,000 LL with 1,000 LL.

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Especially late at night. Not fun. So not fun.

3. Someone plays ‘3antar’ by Myriam Klink while you’re in the vicinity of your parents.

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Hmmmm.

4. Tattooed eyebrows.

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To comment or not to comment – THAT is the question.

5. Someone had toum for lunch.

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6. Weddings.

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“Le2eelik shee 3arees ya Teta!”
[Find a husband my grandchild].

7. Tetas in general.

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They have a special evil talent for making situations very awkward. Mine does this and laughs.

8. “Shu ya ahstaaaaaaaaaa. Yo2borne hal aseerrrrr”

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“What you pudding! May your short skirt/shorts/dress kill me!

(LOK NSHALLAAAA YO2OBRAK —- I HOPE IT DOES.)

9. Being ripped off by the guy that fixes cracked phone screens.

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What do you mean $70? You fixed it last time for 50 bucks. What do you think I am, some sort of idiot!

10. Walking by salons near your house that you don’t go to anymore.

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“Yiii lek sha3ratik, they’re nice.”

11. When a service uses some road you don’t know.

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12. Three little words uttered by mom or dad: “We need to talk.”

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Start plotting an escape plan. Maybe call Superman for help. Ask him to bring Batman, too.

13. The staff of Roadsters singing you “Happy Birthday” because your friends think it’s funny.

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14. Mom: “WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUU” Me: “What? I’m almost home.”

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No I’m not at Skybar. No way, me?! Nooo.”

15. MBC Max forgets to censor a sex scene.

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16. Running into a professor in a bar. Repeatedly.

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17. Service drivers and their stories.

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I’M SORRY, I DON’T RECALL ASKING YOU WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE PRESIDENT.

18. Lebanese greetings.

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Should I go for one, two or three kisses? Or none at all? A handshake maybe? Or just an awkward wave. I’M SO CONFUSED.