Schedules are updated every Thursday.

Beirut.com 10 Sep 2014

No Lebanese Has Ever Looked Sexy…

Alright, it’s becoming well-known all over the world that we’re a tribe of good looking folks. No argument there. But there are some moments when – and I’m applying this to each and every one of us –we’ve looked full-on ridiculous.

That is to say, no Lebanese has ever looked sexy while…

Leaving the Beach at Pierre and Friends

(Image via Izi Smile)

I don’t care whether your abs are made of steel or your ass looks like Jen Selter’s, you’re not going to look sexy coming out of the beach in Batroun with rocks making every inch of you wiggle as you hang your head in shame.

Right After a Bomb

(Image via Giphy)

But, of course.

At 3AM in Mar Mikhael

(Image via Tumblr)

Especially if you’re drunk and having an “intellectual discourse.”

Caught in Hamra Traffic in the Summer

(Image via GIF Wave)

When the Motor Doesn’t Work in your Apartment

(Image via Elite Daily)

And you have to climb up the stairs because the elevators aren’t working.

Eating a Sandwich from Barbar

(Image via College Times)

Toum dripping from your mouth isn’t the most pleasant thing I’ve ever seen.

Walking in Heels in Jbeil Souks

(Image via Tumblr)

Please divert your attempts to look sexy to a time when the sidewalks aren’t filled with holes and stone pebbles. That is one sad parade.

Taking a Picture in Front of Raouche

(Image via Giphy)

Specifically when you’re donning square-shaped Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses and a tight white chemise while striking a pose on one knee.

With Gelled Hair

(Image via Life Confusions)

Please no?

Driving a Motorcycle with your Entire Family

(Image via Giphy)