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Lama Hajj 21 Jan 2015

Five Times the Lebanese Overreacted

For a nation that is purportedly hooked on Xanax, Lexotanil, and several other anti-anxiety medications, it is intriguing that the Lebanese have not managed to calm down yet.
Here are four times we can say the Lebanese collectively overreacted:

1. SelfieGate: Miss Lebanon and Miss Israel

(Photo via mashable.com)

Saly Greige:“You photobombed my selfie!”

Doron Matalon: “No, like I didn’t!”

Saly Greige: “Yes you frikkin’ did don’t lie, Miss Israel – YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US.”

This is a summary of the media frenzy that has taken place over the last couple of days when a photo surfaced of Miss Lebanon and Miss Israel sharing photo with Miss Slovenia and Miss Japan at the Miss Universe pageant that will take place this Sunday. The photo sparked outrage and criticism, forcing the Lebanese beauty queen to release a statement saying that she had been “very cautious to avoid being in any photo or communication with Miss Israel[.]”

Hey, Lebanese people, you want to be mad at somebody? How about you channel that anger towards people who actually legislate and rule? Social media is already such a huge part of our lives, and people tend to get carried away with the little details when they are missing the big political picture. This selfie has as much social and political weight as the #ootd photos that you so gladly share (and over-share) daily. The fact that the Lebanese beauty queen made all the effort she could to avoid being seen with Miss Occupied Palestine should be enough, and what everyone should really go crazy about is that women and men still take pride in beauty pageants as an institution, because let’s not lose sight of what’s important here: beauty pageants are really stupid.

2. Mia Khalifa Takes the Heat

(Photo via huffingtonpost)

When news surfaced (probably after someone was engaging in a late-night masturbatory session) that a Lebanese expat was getting paid to do things many of us do for free, we all lost our minds. It developed into a huge ordeal everyone (including us) felt they needed to denounce or defend. Calm down, Lebanon.

3. Amal Alamuddin Marries George Clooney

(Photo via daily telegraph)

AmalAlamuddin warranted our attention years ago when she became an accomplished barrister and scholar, selected for United Nation’s commissions investigating war crimes. However, when she married George Clooney, we all felt entitled to a portion of Ocean’s Eleven earnings.

4. Abou Faour “Meats” Health Standards

(Photo via radio2moro)

Oh, you’re going to THAT supermarket? Avoid the red taouk! You feel like Lebanese sweets? Well they’re covered in human feces! Your parents have probably warned you against going to a bunch of places to eat after the verdicts on Lebanon’s food and beverage institutions came out a few months ago. In this particular case, people were convinced that the meat they are eating is garbage, which spiraled into a series of nauseating slaughterhouse tours, press conferences that made people across the country cringe, and probably turned one or two of your snooty friends into a vegetarian for a good week. Let’s not forget Lebanese families’ inability to eat out without garishly asking the waiter where the restaurant gets its meat. Let’s be honest, you’re going to have that steak and you’re not going to know the difference.

5. Recycling Causes a Stink

(Photo via Facebook)

A group of Lebanese entrepreneurs have decided to sue Environmental Engineer Ziad AbiChaker for the slogan he has selected for his nation-wide recycling initiative. The entrepreneurs claim that the phrase used, “sar lezim rassak yifroz” is very similar to one they pitched for an advertising campaign last year titled, “sar wa2et tifroz.” The fact is that both slogans are not copyrightable since they are commonly spoken words. The suing party has gone as far as to call it “intellectual terrorism.” That’s like saying you invented the phrase, “hi” – you didn’t, calm down.