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Lama Hajj 02 Mar 2015

The Case For Bringing Netflix To Lebanon

We all had some plans this past weekend, but that was before season three of House of Cards was released on Netflix Friday.

Sorry ISIS, you media-whore, you can burn all the ancient relics you want and kidnap an entire race of people, but nobody will be paying attention to you for a solid week. Just do us all a favor and take a backseat until we’re done binge-watching the new season.

(Image via wikia.com)

If you try to log on to Netflix from Lebanon, you’ll get one of those utterly sad messages that says: “Sorry, Netflix hasn’t come to this part of the world yet.”

Yet on the Internet, everywhere I look – I see Netflix, I hear about Netflix, there are memes about Netflix, even Twitter is obsessed with Netflix. Well, I’m sorry I live in a country where we put candles on indefinite standby in case the electricity goes out, but we deserve to have Netflix, too.

Being asked to write about Netflix in Lebanon is like being asked to write about a magical world made of gum drops and sunshine where you can drink as much as you want and never get hungover, and eat as many cheeseburgers as you want and never get fat, but that I will never gain access to.

To the editor who asked me to write this blog post: thank you for rubbing it in, though. No, really. THANKS. So, dear readers, this is me begging the powers that be to bring the on-demand streaming media site to our country. Please consider the following:

1. Frank Underwood has spoken to me more in one night than my father has in the past month. Enough said.

2. When I break up with someone, I like to make a little cocoon in my bed and stream heartbreaking animal-themed documentaries like Blackfish and Virguna. This process would be made easier if Netflix were available.

3. It would also allow me to partake in hours of harmonious Netflix-viewing with a boyfriend, only to be interrupted by hot sex and even hotter pizza, I deserve to have that. Granted, I’d have to find a boyfriend first, but don’t worry about that, I’ll handle it.

4. I would love to be able to pay to watch television because I wouldn’t want to deprive Kevin Spacey of his private jet. Celebrities are people, too. They need their mansions – and I’ll be damned if I put a dent in their million dollar salary for two months of work.

The upside is, even though we don’t have Netflix, Pandora, and a huge part of YouTube available in Lebanon, blogger Gino Raidy has given us a way to get around it.