Weirdest Beirut Cab Experiences: Part II

“On a lighter, more heartfelt note, I was once sitting in the backseat of a Charlie Taxi and got really annoyed with how the driver was driving with one hand. He couldn’t stay in a lane and pressed the breaks very abruptly. I kept telling myself that the ride would be a short one and I’ll be off soon. After he didn’t press the brake hard enough before a speed bump, I shifted from the win-dow seat to the middle to ask him if he can drive less recklessly. But before I can say anything, I saw that he was driving with one hand because the other was holding some kind of stick attached to the floor of the car. I thought it was a farfetched stick-shift, until I saw his right leg stopped at the thigh. I thought, could this be real? This guy doesn’t have a right leg and is driving…for a living. Looking back, for a man without a leg, the ride wasn’t that bad. He lost his leg when a mine ex-ploded during the civil war.” – Ilija, 25

“At the end of a particularly long, congested route to my friend’s place, the cab driver turned around, held up his cigarettes, and said, ‘You know why I smoke these? Because Hitler smoked these.’” – Mahmoud, 20

“An old man, who called himself Dr. John, told me he knew all, including my past and future. He kept asking me to hold his hand, which I declined. Apparently the hand holding wasn’t neces-sary, because he proceeded to tell me that I get angry but cool down fast, I have a sweet heart, and I was going to meet a sweet guy. Then I remembered I was in the same cab with the same guy 2 years before, and he had told me the exact same things. So either he really did know my future or he says the same thing to everyone. When I got out of the cab, he yelled across the street to me, ‘Tell them about Dr. John!’” – Sara, 23

And it seems like more than one person had this experience…

“One guy decided to interpret my life once and grabbed my hand to read it and then it just went downhill from there.” – Sarah, 25

“I get in the cab and said ‘To Treesome, Gemmayze, please.’ He’s like ‘Where is that?’ I told him the names of some other places nearby. He’s like ‘No no, gemmayze, how do I get there?’ I was pretty surprised, and asked him how long he had been a taxi driver, and he said 8 months. I asked how it was that he didn’t know where Gemmayze was, had no one ever asked to go there? He said no. I said ‘Okay, it’s near Centreville, next to Annahar newspaper.’ He still did not know. Then he goes ‘Ah! Gemmayze! So I go through Mansourieh, then…’ I said, ‘No! No Mansourieh!’ So I told him I would show him how to get there. For some weird reason, I fell asleep on the Dbayeh highway. I wake up and we’re on the Baabdat highway on the way to Broumana. I ask where we are going. He’s like, ‘To Gemmayze!’ I’m like, ‘Not from here! Why didn’t you tell me?’ He said ‘I didn’t want to wake you!’ So we U-turn. We get near Virgin and I say to turn left. He’s like ‘Ah! Next to Saifi Village!’ I’m like, ‘You know Saifi Village but not Gemmayze?!” – Danny, 27

“I was in a service going home on a cold day and the driver was an old grumpy man. He saw a young woman walking by who wasn’t wearing a lot of clothes. So the guy got really mad and said something like, “STAGHFARALLAH IT’S WINTER AND SHE’S DRESSED LIKE A WHORE!” I didn’t say anything and was close to home, but there was a lot of traffic. Then I hear this weird sound and I see his hand go up and down fast. I look closer and see that he started masturbating like a crazy person. I don’t know why I didn’t panic — I found it rather funny. I felt safe because I was near home around a lot of public places, so I said to myself, ‘Let me take a video.’ I turned the camera on and pressed film. The problem was that I forgot to switch to video so there was this loud flash sound. He turned suddenly and was like so surprised there was someone behind him. I literally jumped out of the cab.” – Nayla, 27

“I was trying to find a dentist’s office that was near AUH when a car pulled up and the driver called out, ‘Taxi,’ which I thought was overkill because the large red sign on top of his car had al-ready alerted me to its purpose in life. I asked him for directions and he told me, ‘Get in, no problem lady, no problem.’ He literally drove one block and a half and asked for 10,000LL. That’s how I learned what ‘Taxi’ means in Beirut.” – Shannon, 44