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Lama Hajj 24 Nov 2015

Why The Hell Are We Making A Huge Man’ouche?

In typical Lebanese fashion, we have once again managed to ignore all that is important by focusing on something silly. Think back to when our government was falling apart and we chose to wage cyber war on Mia Khalifeh. Or when our government was falling apart and we chose to focus on a topless olympic skier.

Over and over, we have ignored the definite signs of war, we have ignored a trash crisis, we have ignored human rights violations and refugee crises, we have ignored our failing state; but we have a really, really big man’ouche to make up for it.

The world record-breaking man’ouche stretched over 32 meters long and blah blah blah. Who gives a shit? Unless we’re going to use this dumb oversized sandwich to clothe and feed our rapidly increasing population of impoverished children – it doesn’t matter.

This is like putting a ribbon on a piece of shit and calling it a gift. A large man’ouche and a world record does not a country make.

We already have a huge plate of hummus, a massive vat of tabbouleh, a huge sandwich or something – and now we have a huge man’ouche. To those who think I should lighten up, I tell you to shut the fuck up. We can’t lighten up in the face of war, unemployment, chaos, and hunger. We don’t deserve a huge man’ouche; fuck, we don’t even deserve a small man’ouche. Let’s ban all man’ouches until we get our shit together and start operating as a real, functioning country.

And while we’re at it, let’s stop giving a fuck that the First Lady of Argentina is Lebanese, because really – who cares?

[Images taken from here.]