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Dalia El Ali 01 Jan 2016

8 Things That Happen After New Year’s Eve

The hype for New Year’s Eve is amazing in theory but in practice, it’s actually quite terrible. There’s nothing worse than the false sense of excitement over going into a new year that always results in a horrible crash and burn scenario. It’s all fun and games until you wake up the day after New Year’s Eve and discover that you actually have to continue living through the entire bloody year and try to fulfill the insane promises and resolutions you’ve made…and foolishly told everyone about!

1. You fail to wake up early

How cool was it that I drank so much yesterday because, fuck yeah it was New Year’s Eve! Nothing like drinking yourself into oblivion the previous day only to wake up the next day feeling like a complete and utter failure for waking up at 5 PM on January 1st.

2. You wake up with a hangover

But see, you’re not just hungover the next day! You’re hung over, and over, and over, and over.. But you know, LAST NIGHT WAS NEW YEAR’S EVE! You vow never to drink like that again; after all, it is a new year and your body is a temple, etc.

3. You remember your insane new year’s resolutions

Shit, did you really promise yourself you’d stop eating fast food and start drinking way less?

4. …Like getting into shape

Can companies like MuscleTech please come up with magic pills that make you lose all your fat in one day? Come on, future – we give you so much, you give us so little!

5. And then failing to get in shape

A few days One day into your “diet,” you lose more patience and sanity than fat causing you to promptly shove a cheeseburger in your face. Technically you’ve already failed on your first day of the new year. Congratulations.

6. Then a few days into the “new” year

You stop going to the gym. You start doing tiny workouts at home. Then eventually those stop as well, you lasted an underwhelming three days.

7. At some point…

You realize that you’ve failed at every single New Year’s resolution you tried to make. Just like every damn year!

8. Then towards the end of the year, you…

Start promising yourself that next year will be the year you get your shit together. 2017 here I come!

Exactly. You’re still the same person you were last year.