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Every single place looks like it was invaded by a gang of massive red teddybears, so you know it’s Valentine’s Day.
Yes, it’s cute, all the window displays looking like Cupid just threw up after a nasty hangover, all those couples walking around with huge presents and balloons looking like the happy ending of a cheesy movie. But for us single people – it’s not exactly that cute, here are the five types of single people on Valentine’s Day:
1. The Friend-zoned Sweetheart
This one’s a true soldier. Never giving up, they truly believe that Valentine’s the day that will get them out of the friend-zone. They text their crush a cute Valentine’s greeting, they take them out for lunch that’s supposed to be just as friends, and then they bring up the topic…again, but with chocolate and a gift this time; only to be met with an “aww, thanks” and an Instagram post with the caption “Valentine’s with my best friend” – ouch.
2. The Power Gang
This group of friends decides to go out together to have a dose of forced fun, proving that they are strong and independent, they don’t need a significant other to feel complete! They may even choose to buy each other presents (a bit weird but hey, we’re not judging).
3. The Desperado
Usually spends the day indoors, watching sappy romantic movies, binging on junk food and chocolate, all the while resisting the urge of texting an ex.
4. The Party Pooper
This bundle of joy will flood your social media with posts and comments ridiculing any display of affection and raging on about how silly Valentine’s Day; going on and on about how this holiday is a corporate, capitalist, consumerist ruse.
5. The Third Wheel
This person somehow manages to crash their friends’ date. I’m not sure why they think it’s a better idea than staying home alone; it’s just awkward. Don’t be that person please, I’m sure your friend’s date will end up paying you to leave.