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Christina Fakhry 04 Mar 2016

How To Become A Lebanese Foodie In 10 Simple Steps

Contrary to popular beliefs, not all Lebanese people are natural born foodies. It takes dedication, hard work, and a whole lot of appetite. Watch and learn.

1. Brush up on your photography skills.

This one goes without saying. Judging by the outrageous number of local photography pages on Facebook and Instagram, it shouldn’t take you long to get your inborn photographer spirit going. But don’t take it too far with technicalities since the actual food will be doing all the creative work anyway.

2. Exhaust the hell out of reviews on Zomato.

As a dedicated member of the foodie community, you need to drop weekly (if not daily) Zomato reviews about every single restaurant you visit or order from. Make sure to engage with fellow Zomatians for added exposure. Oh, and please don’t let the pleasant sight of food hinder your ability to produce proper grammar. Remember, you are being watched (and judged) by a whole bunch of community managers ready to give you a job at any given moment.

3. Upload a minimum of five food pictures to Instagram every time you’re eating out.

Because how else is the universe going to acknowledge your world-class culinary expertise? Don’t forget to nail your hashtags!!!!

4. Start developing unpopular opinions about popular restaurants.

You absolutely cannot go with the flow in terms of your gastronomical preferences. The world is in deep longing for added hipster-esque uniqueness. You are expected to establish a particularly distinguished, diligently refined taste from day one. Work it.

5. Check in at every recently opened restaurant in town.

Every time you go to a new restaurant but forget to check in, five points are deducted from your foodie record. Because seriously, what’s the point of attending restaurant openings if you do not disseminate the news to the entire Internet population?

6. Once your online reviews start getting too long, channel your chronic cravings into a blog.

Yes, I mean, you’re not gonna spend the rest of your life throwing emotional one-paragraph food reviews at the online community. It’s time to step it up and delve into full-fledged critiques. WordPress needs you. The world needs you. Every living organism on the face of the planet is craving your input. Don’t make us wait any longer.

7. Never miss a street food event under any circumstances.

I don’t care if you’re sick, dyingm or running late to a date with Beyoncé. Attendance is MANDATORY.

8. Become a professional donut hunter.

You need to develop a superior ability to capture exceptional, historically significant donut moments. Sometimes it’s just one donut, other times you need a whole lineup of donuts to produce the desired aesthetic effect.

9. Post at least one picture of you devouring a burger on every social network platform.

#Burger #PleaseLookAtMyBurger #MyBurgerBringsAllTheLikesToTheFeed #DidAnyoneSayBurger #BurgerMeNotWithYourNonsense

10. Dabble in cooking/baking and flood the Internet with your culinary exploits.

As a final step, you need to take your passion for food to the next level by undertaking a minimum of one real-life cooking endeavor. Any recipe would do as long as you post enough pictures of your glorious attempt on social media. I’m guessing that’s it for the moment. Can’t take the yumminess anymore. I think I’m gonna pass out. Can you give me some of that #fresh #organic #juice you were drinking the other day now that we’re at it?