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Lama Hajj 20 Apr 2016

KFC Introduces ‘Manliest’ (And Dumbest) Sandwich On Earth

“Yo, you got a small penis? Just eat this sandwich and you’ll be banging babes all night long, brah.”

Is this an accurate summary of the creative meeting held at KFC headquarters when they thought up this stellar campaign? We’ll never know.

The sandwich in question is your standard turkey and cheese sandwich, except they’ve replaced the bread with two chunks of fried chicken and deemed it the manliest sandwich on Earth. They’ve even put a picture of a gross bicep on the campaign poster so you just know it’s real. How fragile is the modern man’s ego that we have to pump it up using CHICKEN SANDWICHES?

What’s next KFC? Injecting fried chicken and lard directly into our enlarged hearts?

This artery busting sandwich has been around in the States for a while now and is actually quite popular. With all the hormones and gross shit swimming around in KFC’s chicken, I wouldn’t be surprised if it did actually give you a dose of testosterone. Maybe you’ll even grow a third testicle (second for some of you), who knows?

This kind of feels like a pandering mother convincing her son to eat his vegetables, “here comes the airplane that’s going to give you a huge dose of penis and strength.”

All that being said, I can totally envision myself eating this garbage after too much tequila.

A real man gets a woman to make his sandwiches, bro.