Listomania
11 Types of Lebanese Neighbors
Heaven forbid you have them all.
1. The ones who are always doing construction.
Stop fixing your bathrooms, Rabih.
2. The one who got a little too comfortable.
They come in, make themselves a cup of coffee, raid your fridge, and criticize your lifestyle.
3. The Federal investigator/gossip.
Spending their days doing surveillance on the balconies, this particular neighbor gathers intel and info in their spare time. They have prolonged sob7ieh sessions and spread the seeds of their findings.
4. The one who’s always grilling.
Mashewe for life.
5. The one who borrows everything.
First they come in for a cup of sugar, then a stalk of celery, then a potato…okay.
6. The one who is never, ever there.
Their car collects dust in the parking lot while their bills remain stacked on their doorstep.
7. The troublemaker.
They always have a problem with where/how you parked, the way you threw your trash out, the way you consume water, and the way your dog breathes.
8. The no eye-contact one.
They’d rather walk up six flights of stairs than spend 10 seconds in an elevator with another human.
9. The one who comes over for hours at a time.
You dread the minute they come over because you know it’ll be an endless series of awkward silences, pleasantries, and every beverage you have to offer.
10. The one with out of control kids.
You’re never quite sure if a murder just took place or if the kids are just playing PlayStation.
11. The one you actually like.
Because they’re friendly and they’re always there to lend a helping hand.
