14 Problems You Face In Beirut If You’re Not Fluent In Arabic

Whether you’re an expat home for the summer, went to school abroad, or just on a random holiday to Beirut, you have probably faced many of these problems. Though different people handle things differently, there are some scenarios you just can’t escape if you don’t speak Arabic fluently.

1. People assuming your nationality

Canada? Amreeka? Armenia? Britaniya?

2. Or, your region?

The assumptions that are made really put into perspective how you sound to the true locals. Ahhhh, ente men l shmel? No bro, but I know you’re saying my accent is heavy.

3. A lot of sticky situations

Once, upon realising my local dekkene makes nescafé to go, I asked him, “bta3melle wa7ad?” Needless to say, he looked shocked, and I was mortified when I’d realised what I’d said.

4. And proceeding to have your true Lebanese friends teach you all the dirty lingo and swear words.

Just in case.

5. Pausing and stuttering become a completely normal part of life.

Try having an intellectual debate with a taxi driver – nope. You’ll stutter, pause, realise you have no idea what the Arabic word for “constitution” is and proceed to blindly agree with the taxi driver’s questionable analysis of Middle Eastern politics.

6. Apparently your best accent is slightly off too

I once asked a taxi taking me to Bikfaya to drop me off at the “temseliye” (TV show) instead of the “temsel” (statue). Needless to say, I never tried this tactic ever again.

7. Getting ripped off…constantly

30,000 L.L. from Dora to Beirut via service? Nice try, but it’s a no from me.

8. If you do engage in a convo, it usually leads to you telling your life story

Because everybody just has to know exactly where you’re from, and why you speak so funny.

9. Avoiding conversations altogether

*Sits in taxi silently, awkwardly avoiding eye contact and any form of conversation while aimlessly scrolling through Facebook thinking about all the (expensive) data I’m wasting just to not have to say a word*

10. …even though the inner chatterbox in you is dying to talk

BUT I really want to ask him if he’s had a good day, where he’s from, how business is in general, and obviously complain about the traffic.

11. Giving up mid sentence

Bas, bas, bas, *sighs* mashi.

12. Switching languages in the hope they’ll understand

“Haha yeah, ken 3ende a very difficult situation bel sheghel lyom”

13. Saying the English word in an Arabic accent, you know, to make it more understandable

Switch the p’s to b’s, stress the r’s and speak sllooowwwllllyyyy.

14. When they find out where you’re originally from they always ask “wein a7la, hon walla honik?”

At this exact moment in the conversation, I’d rather be “honik”