Schedules are updated every Thursday.

Ghida Ladkani 01 Dec 2017

10 Lebanese Movie-goers You Know Too Well

The level of annoying that a Lebanese cinema can be is way too high. Why don’t people just go to the cinema, watch the movie, and peacefully part? With these people sitting next to you at a cinema, no one can blame you for staying home and watching DVDs from now on.

1. The loud talker

They’ve somehow mistaken their trip to the cinema as a trip to their therapist’s office and want to get so much off their chest, sadly, none of us feel like we want to hear any of that.

2. The kid

This should be a law: if you can’t shush your spawn, don’t bring it to the cinema. Or anywhere public really, but that’s a whole other issue.

3. The couple

Someone must’ve told these two to get a room, and on their way there, they decided that cinema tickets are cheaper. They have no shame whatsoever in their PDA-ness, and everyone in the hall is as aware of their kissing as they are of the plot.

4. The conservative

If the movie you’re seeing isn’t family friendly, you’ll hear all the indignant expressions of this person. They’ll whisper, loudly, “astaghfurllah” and “ye sho 3ayb” at every kiss in the film.

5. The teenagers

They put their feet up, chew loudly, and throw popcorn. Teenagers are the most horrible breed of human to sit in front of in a cinema.

6. The excited one

These people are way too into the film, and they’ll shout out their excitement for you to hear. These are the same breed of people who clap at the end of a flight.

7. The texter

I will never understand why someone will drive all the way to the cinema, stand in line, buy a ticket between 10-15$, walk up the steps of the screen hall, and then spend the next hour and thirty-five minutes on their phone.

8. The big group

There’s just something inherently annoying about a large group of people going to the cinema together. It sort of reminds you of unwanted school trips mixed with the awkwardness of trying to pass in front of them to get to your seat. God be with you if you are seated next to them, as by the end of the screening you’ll be in on all their inside jokes.

9. The spoiler

These people aren’t content with just being loud in the cinema, they spoil the movie for everyone watching. The most immature and kill-able of cinema goers, these people will scream out giant parts of the plot for some sort of revenge on the world.

10. The sleeper

You’d think they’d be okay to sit next to, but then the snoring starts. How???