What Your Choice In Lebanese Nightlife Says About You
Waiting for everyone to be personally offended…
O1NE/Skybar
You like the best things in life, even if you can’t afford them. Don’t be fooled by the crowd here, they may seem like the people who throw in a couple of hundred dollar bills just for tips, but no. They’re the type of people that have Ferraris (most of the time borrowed from the dealership they work in) but don’t have enough money to fill the tank.
Caprice
You’re under 18, so getting past the bouncer downstairs is your life’s biggest achievement. Now you can peacefully record everything on your Instagram story as if you’re in fucking Ibiza.
Uberhaus/Garten
You like to “feel” the music, “let it flow” through your veins, and close your eyes while whatever mediocre Lebanese DJ “takes over your body”. You also spend a lot of time in the bathroom, hmm…I wonder why.
The Grand Factory/AHM
You’re either 15 or 30 (most of the time 15), and can’t get over Backstreet Boys. You come here spill drinks on people, stomp on a few feet, and get drunk. You complain about how the place is overcrowded and you can’t breathe, but you always come back every week.
Taiga/Volume/Cassino
You enjoy shisha outings in the weekdays and illegally hunting birds on the weekends. Your arms don’t fit in your shirt and you’ve disrupted the local gel industry by dumping it all on your head. Having Joe Ashkar scream “ONE BIK CHAMPAGNE” followed by your name is your main goal for the night.
Music Hall/Mandaloun
You enjoy almost the same type of music as the earlier crowd, but you have money, actually completed university, and you enjoy treating yourself to premium alcohol preceded by a good culinary experience before you get blackout drunk.
Discotek
The Lebanese foreign crowd reigns over this disco oasis. What are Lebanese foreigners you ask? They are Lebanese people who live in Lebanon but regularly speak either English or French (although they can speak Arabic better than anyone else), and are not really integrated into Arabic/Lebanese society. They have their closed circles, they think they’re big shits and thus, strictly attend their circle’s events, but will occasionally step out of their bubble for a night at the disco.
Mar Mikhael
What was once the hipster haven, is now the land of under-aged drunk students. If you don’t look homeless, then you don’t deserve a beer in hand and a lean on one of the cars parked on either sides of the road. Mind you, although most of the bars are inhabited by people who belong to the aforementioned category, some other bars like Central Station, Anise, and L’osteria hold the not-so-homeless older crowds.
Badaro
The hipsters have moved from Mar Mikhael to Badaro, and now sit in groups and diss the extensive wine menus in other neighborhoods. Dare you say or give your opinion on anything within earshot of them, they will counter-argue you, even if they’re not sitting on your table. You’ll also find the kind of person here who likes to bring a book out with them on Friday night and occupy the much sought after table that you and your friends yearn to take over. Good luck with that though, because until they’re finished reading The Unbearable Lightness of Being, you will not be getting a seat.
Hamra
You work in Hamra, and you’re here for happy hour. Other than that, there’s no excuse for actually choosing Hamra as a main destination.
