17 Songs We’re Tired Of Hearing At Lebanese Nightclubs

Which dreaded song did you hear on repeat this past weekend?

1. 3 Daqat – Abu ft. Yusra

I think we’ve had enough?

2. Empire State of Mind – JAY-Z ft. Alicia Keys

We are not in New York, we have absolutely no relation to New York.

3. We Are Young – Fun ft. Janelle Monáe

Cue all the underage children forming a group hug when this is on, and singing along to doing lines in the bathroom. Get through high school first.

4. HUMBLE – Kendrick Lamar

The sad part about this is that it’s actually a good song but the Lebanese masses have massacred it.

5. Something Just Like This – The Chainsmokers ft. Coldplay

How about something not like this?

6. Rockstar – Post Malone feat. 21 Savage

The funniest thing about this one is the hum people do when the verse is on. It goes a little something like this: “I been poppin dilis la la lili ma I fee jus like a ROCKSTAR”.

7. Despacito – Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber

Deeeeespaaaaacito. Now it’s going to be stuck in your head all day.

8. Havana – Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug

I have a deep rage for this one.

9. Perfect – Ed Sheeran

Request to DJ Rodge: stop remixing songs that make me want to slit my wrists.

10. Shape of You – Ed Sheeran

If I hear Ed Sheeran one more time…

11. Starboy – The Weeknd

The Weeknd himself is sending an official document that bans the usage of this song on any and all Lebanese lands.

12. Man’s Not Hot – Big Shaq

I still don’t understand this one.

13. Bi Rabbek – Nassif Zeytoun

The testosterone levels spike up instantaneously, the biceps are flexed, and all the bearded gorillas are screaming it out, with the cigarette and Vodka Redbull glass in hand flailing around.

14. Ya mna3na3 – Mostafa Hagag

The Arabic version of Man’s Not Hot: saying incomprehensible syllables along to a catchy tune.

15. Jamal El Rouh – Ziad Saleh

This is literally a song about a man prioritizing superficial standards and beauty over a beautiful soul. STOP DANCING ALONG TO IT YOU IDIOTS.

16. Akheeran Galaha – Ahmed Al Maslawi

AKA my snooze jam.

17. Bent El Sultan – Ahmed Adaweyah

This one is actually cool tbh.

Post edit:

18. El3ab Yalla – Oka W Ortega

Is this a joke? I still feel someone’s fucking with us every time this comes up in a “respectable” nightclub.