These Are The 10 Lebanese Couples You’ll Meet

Lebanon never fails to add colourful and interesting characters to your life, and when it comes to couples, the characters only get wilder and more interesting.

1. The Conjoined Couple

These two have been together for so long that they have merged into the same person. Their families have sort of become the same one, and all their friends are shared. One cannot form a full sentence without the other finishing it for them, and you haven’t seen them individually in at least 4 years. If you’re going out for a drink with them, prepare to third wheel like you’ve never done before.

2. The War Zone

You’ve never known awkwardness like the one surrounding these two. They have no problem dishing out all their problems in front of everyone and fighting it out. Fights starting with the simplest of things end up with catastrophic exposés on how their families hate their partners and how when one of them cheated 3 years ago the other forgave them. No one asked for this much insider info on your relationship, please stay home or be civil.

3. The PDA

Do not, I repeat, do not, go out with this couple if you care about not seeing your friend’s sexual life being played out in front of you. They think that they’re low key, but the really aren’t in any way shape or form. Please get a room and stop fornicating on the barstools of Mar Mikhael.

4. The Masculinity Complex

I don’t know what sort of daddy issues drive some Lebanese women to date this guy, but they need help. If your friend’s boyfriend tells her when she’s allowed to go out, with whom, and how she should be dressed if she’s allowed to leave the house unescorted, know that they are dating the Masculine Complex. Save her, if it’s the last thing you do.

5. The Instagram Prop

The only reason that this girl is dating your friend is because her Instagrams weren’t getting as much likes when they didn’t include a guy doting on her in every pic. If all a girl’s captions of her boyfriend and her are along the lines of, “Look what he bought me/made for me/did!”, your friend needs saving from his life as an Instagram boost.

6. The Snooze Fest

The two people who were so boring they had no option but to date each other. All questions you ask them are given one word, boring ass answers that make you want to gouge your eyes out. But hey, if it’s your last day on earth, make sure to spend it with them because it will feel like an eternity.

7. The Perfect Illusion

How can any couple be this perfect?! They have perfect bodies, live in a beautiful apartment, have perfect hair, are hilarious, and have perfect jobs. They’re probably the most annoying people you know because of how wholesome they are, and you secretly hate them and dread hanging out with them.

8. The Passive Aggressive

This couple is even worse than the one that keeps fighting, because they include you in their fight. “Ma hek?” or “Eh s2alon iza baddak, shoof inno ma3e 7a2!” is often heard in conversations that are calm, decibel wise, but contain the worst low-key digs at each other. Just break up!

9. The Obvious Beards

Everyone knows that these two are both flaming homosexuals, but, with society’s pressures and the stigmatisation, they’ve internalised homophobia so far that they’re not only staying in the closet, they’re inviting you in with them for a meal and a drink. It’s always awkward seeing how unnatural this relationship comes to them, and you wish you could just scream at them, “YOU’RE GAY! WE KNOW! IT’S OKAY!”

10. The Party Animals

The one thing these two have in common is their love for drinks, loud obnoxious music, and hard drugs. When the two ended up as the last people standing on the dance floor at 3 AM, they just coupled up and have been inseparable ever since. Tip: you don’t want to be there when they wake up one day, realise they’re in their 40’s and sleeping next to someone they know nothing about more than what their favourite drink is.