15 Things Lebanese People Do On Their Birthdays

Who can we send a request to to stop ‘birth week’ celebrations from being a thing? From having the idea that you have to subject your friends to a week of consecutive daily celebrations to elaborate photo shoots posing alongside obnoxious cakes, here are some things Lebanese people do on their birthdays.

1. The birthweek celebrations

Because being Lebanese entails a very high level of self-appreciation, and by having that you must have a week-long celebration to commemorate the you were born.

2. The over-elaborate cake(s)

If Rami likes football and one time scored an own goal in 8th grade by falling over by the goal, landing on the ball, at which point the ball slowly rolled into the goal, Rami will likely receive a big green cake depicting a guy falling over by a goal and the ball bouncing off of his head. His friends will eagerly watch his reaction upon receiving the cake to see if he remembers and/or appreciates the thought – and, since they do this every year, he does in fact remember and will give the same look of shock and awe when the cake lights up and is placed before him.

3. The group pictures

Mandatory. A series of group pictures forced to be taken by the least-liked friend in the friend group.

4. The ‘blessed’ birthday post

5. Telling people they don’t really care about their birthday but that their friends always insist on celebrating

Insisting others that they’re soooo down to earth and don’t expect anything from anyone on their birthday.

6. The obnoxiously long Insta-story

Is it truly a Lebanese birthday if every second of the day isn’t documented on Instagram and Snapchat?

7. The necessary big-name-club table

This will involve forcing all your friends to pay minimum charge at Mandaloun, and of course this means covering the birthday king/birthday queen’s charge, too.

8. The self-proclaimed revelation

‘Guys 3anjad no more toxic relationships this year.’

9. The gift-giving competition between friends

Who can show their love better by spending an irresponsible amount of money? The person with the most expensive gift is, by default, the closest friend.

10. The family lunch

11. The mandatory ‘surprise’ element

After convincing friends not to plan anything for the month preceding their birthday, the Lebanese birthday girl/boy will always expect/require a surprise on their birthday. It’s gotten to the point where you’ll find that people won’t make any plans on their birthdays because they know something will happen later that night. When friends don’t call or ask what the plans are – that’s usually a supporting clue.

12. The grand cousin reunion

Time to come down from the day3a and do the same exact thing you were doing there, but in Beirut.

13. The ‘guys please don’t get me any gifts’ messages in the group chat

What this really means: please get me gifts. Please do.

14. The drunken speech

15. The ‘tanks everyone for the birthday wishes’ Facebook status

If you don’t write a thankful Facebook status, did you really have a birthday?

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