Schedules are updated every Thursday.

Yara Jaber 18 Feb 2018

11 Types Of Lebanese People You’ll Meet On Hikes

Lebanon has many beautiful trails and mountains to take hike on, and with these resources come organized hikes that will round up a group of peculiar Lebanese people. Meet them here:

1. The whiner who was dragged by his/her friends

This person will sound a little something like this:
– “Ma kenet 3arfe hek ha tkoun sa3be
– “Ya allah bade fout 3al himem
– “3am mout 3anjad mawjou3a
– “Fi shi 3a2asne
– “Adde ba3ed badna ta nousal
– “Fi siyara tejje tekhedne? Ma adra kammil

Note: All of the above statements are things I personally said during my first and last hiking experience last week.

2. The outdoorsy couple

Their romantic dates come in the form of camping, hiking, snowshoeing, paragliding, etc. Feel super sorry for you all.

3. The person who thinks he/she is competing in the fucking Olympics

This person is heading the group, making grunting noises, drinking from his/her tacky Athletic brand water thermos. He/she will scoff at people as he/she passes them by. This is your local sports group 1km hike, tawwlo belkon.

4. The eager wannabe photographer

You’ll find this person swinging by trees to take the perfect picture of when the sun hits the trees just right – when my little cousin can take better pictures when she accidentally presses the camera on her mom’s shitty iPhone.

5. The person who’s only there to show it on social media

This person is vlogging his/her journey, Lebanese influencer style. While he/she tries to include the rest of the group in the video selfie, everyone will be hysterically ducking away from the shot.

6. The person who tries to kiss the guide’s ass

Hi, sorry bade 2es2alak shi. Hayde el shajra shu naw3a? Adde sarlak bta3mol guide? Shu no3 el sneakers li lebison? Wow, enta ktir passionate bi sheghlak. Please khod my email w b3atle khabar wa2ta terja3o ta3emlo hikes.” – while the guide is just rolling his eyes and wishing this nuisance away.

7. The unfit person who doesn’t know what they signed up for

Maybe the three mne2eesh and Sprite for breakfast wasn’t a good idea?

8. The hot person who is not interested in anything but the hike

This individual will be swarmed by girls/guys on all sides, and will not answer any question except with a half-hearted smile, and a nod.

9. The person who’s trying to be friends with everyone

Stop cheerleading us. We’re annoyed, bothered, and your pep talks are bringing us down rather than making us excited.

10. The annoying fact-generator

Bta3erfo eno hayde el shajra kenit 3a eyyem ajdedna, w hayde el namle stawradouwa min Spain, w hayde el mant2a ken y3eesh fiya Brad Pitt howe w anjelina, layko bayton wen ken.”

11. The group who just wants to fuck around.

Otherwise referred to as “the maneyek “, this group will make fun of everything and everyone. A lot of “bros” and “man” will be heard from their intellectual and enlightening conversation.