It is a truth universally acknowledged that Lebanese food is the best food. However, white people get creative, and they’ve gotten plenty creative with our food, it seems. Here are some of the most atrocious times that they tried to “put a spin” on all that is good in the world.
1. Chocolate hummus
In the name of all that is holy, why?
2. … Fattoush with broccoli
Okay but, why?
3. Grape tabbouleh with bacon
The grapes are bad enough, but BACON with
???? We’re not having it.
4. Baklava with espresso syrup
“Let’s take something perfect, and completely ruin it,” white people, probably.
5. Bean and black rice tabbouleh
We allowed quinoa, but are we calling anything tabbouleh now? Just eat your beans and go.
6. Tuna fattoush
This is why we can’t have nice things.
7. Rice and noodles
This is literally just boiled rice and boiled noodles. White and bland, like the people who wrote the recipe.
8. Roasted eggplant and zucchini, with nothing inside
This is just empty, or rather full of their own innards, pieces of zucchini and eggplant that are drizzled with tomato sauce.
9. Hummus, only with spinach, edamame, and garlic
Why add anything to an already perfect thing? Why?