15 Fights All Lebanese Couples Have

Depending on your relationship status, you’ve either been a part of these fights or witnessed them. Worst case? You’ve experienced them and, because of them, are now single.

1. The one about that ex

Everyone has exes, but there’s also that one problematic ex on each side of the relationship. You’ll be chilling together in a bar in Badaro and you’ll hear people talking in the background mentioning the name of that fateful ex-lover, and whoever feels like starting shit for no reason will do just that.

It will go a little something like this: “Leh baramet wa2ta 2allo esma? 3al alile hterem eno ana a3de ma3ak. Bedhar ma3ak ta etbahdal ana? SHU BADDON Y2OUL EL 3ALAM? El ha2 3layye ana, mrakable 2roun w sekte.“

2. The one about drinking

At first, you had so much fun drinking together – dancing, laughing, singing, hugging, kissing. Then, as time goes by in the Lebanese relationship, this belligerent habit takes a turn for the worse when the male counterpart suddenly decides to pass judgement.

It will start with: “Hayete 3anjad ktir sayra 3am teshrabe. Betalna wled, ma fiye dahrik kel marra min el sahra w ente manik we3ye” and all hell will break loose afterwards.

3. The one about where to eat

You arrange to go out for dinner earlier on in the day. You have your outfits planned out and you’re ready to go. You get in the car and that daunting question is asked “Wein 7a nekol?” In the background, sirens go off. You want Swiss Butter but she wants Entrecote. It’s basically the same thing, but cheaper, you tell her. That does not please her one bit.

4. The one about family

You invite him over for lunch and at your parents, and when you’re done he takes you aside to tell you this: “Sheyfe kif khayik byetala3 w byehke ma3e? Ana behtermo bas la2ano a3din ma3 ahlik. Bas karamte sarit bil da2 hon, mish de3is baytkon ba2a,” followed by a hushed angry argument and then he excuses himself because he needs to go “pick up his mom”. Cue the loud argument at approximately 10:32 PM.

5. The one about time spent with friends

At the beginning, there was poker night once a month – it coincided with girl’s nights out in Gemmayze once a month. As the relationship progresses, so does the poker habit, and so do comments like: “Tene mara bet2elle eno ma fina nodhar la2ano ma ma3ak, ha zakrak eno 3am yrouho mesriyet bayak 3a le3eb 2mar w to3rees“.

6. The one about Lebanese politics

7. The afterparty fight

You’ve been dancing and drinking at the likes of The Garten, Grand Factory, or Discotek all night. One of you wants to go to Rami’s house for an afterparty – the other one doesn’t. You do the math.

8. The beach fight

In broad daylight she’ll catch her man checking out the obnoxious girl sitting next to her who has been taking selfies all day and just so happens to think a thong is a suitable bikini choice for a Lebanese beach. She’ll turn around to face him, lower down her sunglasses, and ask him in the loudest voice: “Shu babe, 3ajbetak teeza? Be7kilak ma3a ta tekhod ra2ma?“

9. The hungry fight

Something stupid is said that would never otherwise warrant a fight. But the last time the two of you ate was the night before at Za’atar W Zeit after you didn’t go to that afterparty mentioned above. There is no fight as dangerous as the hungry fight.

10. The boredom fight

Things have been going remarkably well for the last few weeks. That’s a good thing, right? Wrong. Something is up. Something is fishy. Someone will say something self-sabotaging and sarcastic like: “Bta3rif eno mom shefetne natra 30 mins haydik el marra wa2ta t2ekharet 3layye, w aletle eno iza el shab 3am ynatrik min hal2, boukra binatrik lal 3 subuh w ma byerja3 3al bet“.

11. The one about the AUX cable

One of you loves Justin Bieber and the other loves deep house. Not good for all of the car rides that this relationship will endure.

12. The Mar Mikhael fight

Drunk, loud, belligerent. One too many shots and then, out of the blue: “Sheftik kif 3am tetala3e bi Rami! Hayda rfee2e, kif fikke ta3emle hek fiyye? 3anjad el neswen ma 2ellon rabb“.

13. The one about Instagram

You said you were going to sleep and then you liked a picture of your mutual friend on Instagram. Uh oh. Rookie mistake. You still follow your exes, fine, but you liked her bikini pic? You liked Rihanna’s selfie? A screenshot will be sent to you with this sentence: “Tene marra ma t2elle eno feyit tnem, 2elle eno feyet ta3mol likes la shrameet 3a insta.”

14. The one about where to go out

Pub hopping in Mar Mikhael or fancy drinks in Saifi…neither, because you’re going to fight about it and spend the rest of the night in the car trying to make up.

15. The toom fight

“Did you really have to ask for extra toum in your Barbar shawarma?”