An Introductory Guide To Lebanese Driving Styles

After walking you through the 12 golden rules of driving in Lebanon, we’re hitting the road again this year with a complete guide to Lebanese driving styles.

1. Lane-less Love

The Lebanese republic is a true no-lane land when it comes to day-to-day wheeling, which makes this the most common driving style among all segments of the population. Road divisions mean practically nothing to the average citizen and painted lines are perceived as little more than superfluous street art. Driving in between lanes is for the weak anyway. [Innovation is highly encouraged.]

2. Deadly Dodging

Also known as Obsessive-Compulsive Swaying, this common practice consists of expertly swerving past cars from lane to lane or straight up from one side of the highway to the other if you’re the adventurous type. Talk about driving with a twist!

3. Sustained Speeding

No matter the type of traffic you’re caught in, there’s always that one driving prodigy who casually decides to ignore everyone and everything standing in the way and just speed along with no braking whatsoever. My way or the highway, literally.

4. Lifeless Lazying

One the other end of the spectrum, you have depressingly slow commuters who somehow always like to drive on the far-left lane of the highway (notably on days when you’re late and totally in a hurry). They also tend to get particularly annoyed when you ultimately run out of patience and decide to let a long-overdue beep out (or else magically transform into a world-class NASCAR racer at the very millisecond you attempt to overtake them because logic).

5. Pitiless Persecution

This predominantly nocturnal driving style is more of a move-or-die chase, whereby the reckless driver behind you engages in all sorts of blinking (using every possible combination of lights) to kick you out of the way. And if by any chance flashing headlights doesn’t work, then expect a full-on invasion of vehicle space, with their car being shoved as close as can be to the back of yours, threatening a possible collision with every second that goes by.

6. Sudden Surfacing

Don’t believe in magic? Well, this technique is bound to make you change your mind. Picture yourself rolling smoothly back home with no worries whatsoever on your mind, but then *BAM* some never-before-seen vehicle suddenly appears in front of you, pushing your brakes (and nerves) to their absolute limit. How incredibly spellbinding is that!

7. Public Piss-off

This one goes to Lebanon’s beloved public transport vehicles, namely minivans, buses and taxis, that make you give up on life itself (and the whole concept of operating a vehicle) every time you happen to pass them by. No rules is the only rule here, move over.

8. Major Multitasking

Besides putting themselves and everyone near them at risk, some drivers leave you speechlessly impressed with their next-level multitasking abilities. From texting and making calls (while holding the phone up their ear because activating speaker/connecting earphones is an impossible task to achieve in the physical world) to eating and applying makeup, you’re definitely in for a treat with these people.

9. Superstitious Steering

Your daily commute is never complete without a plentiful dose of utter confusion, enacted by a handful of nearby drivers who seem to have absolutely no clue what they’re doing. The kind of motorized messes that leave you wondering whether they’re actually about to drive into you or you’re just paranoid every time you look into the mirror. Stress is the name of the game.

10. Massive Manipulation

No matter how hard you try, some engines are just too big to be challenged and shall be avoided at all costs. The thing about truck drivers is that 1) they’re not afraid to exterminate you, 2) have all the means to do so, and 3) are not afraid to show it. Think of your power position via-a-vis a mosquito, the only difference here is that you, in fact, are the mosquito.

11. Conscious Coexistence [RARE]

Responsible drivers are a rare sight in Lebanon, but their uncommon species hasn’t yet been driven to extinction. We’re counting on you to make it happen!