8 Types Of Starbucks Baristas You’ll Come Across In Lebanon

Here they are, and, no one can argue with me on this one. I pay rent in several Starbucks branches around Beirut:

1. The overly hyper one who’s all over the place

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, kifna lyom” is the first thing he/she will say in a bellowing tone, followed by incoherent babbling about products I don’t and will never care about. He/she will belt out another: “NAIM, JEBLE EL SKIMMED MILK” while jumping over Naim. Poor Naim.

2. The one who keeps trying to change your order

Them: “Leh ma betjarbe el mocha el jdide ktir taybe ma3 chocolate chips w whipped cream?”
Me: No, I’d like green tea.
Them: “Tab leh ma betjarbe el macchiacto iced green tea latte ma3 el matcha blend“
Me: No. Just tea.
Them: “Tab layke shu-“
UGHHHHHHH.

3. The one who has “smile” written on their name tag

Can you stop telling me to smile, Rana? I’m over it and over you.

4. The one who’s on first name basis with customers

He knows everyone, and will walk around like a king shooting finger pistols at them, and sentences like these, “Hi habibe Charbel wen hal ghaybe?” Charbel’s fine and he wants you to get back to work.

5. The one who can’t count change

They’ll sometimes give you more than what you need or less. I usually keep the more, and rage on them when it’s less.

6. The one who hates him/herself and life itself

He/she will be so annoyed with you from the moment you open your mouth, anything you order is a major inconvenience, and they wish they could hit you in the face with one of those caramel biscuits that are always in front of the cashier.

7. The one who has hearing problems

I’m sorry but how did “Caramel Frappuccino decaf with skimmed milk” turn into English Breakfast tea?

8. The one with the sexy voice

Okay, hear me out on this one. I was standing in line at Starbucks Raouche when suddenly I hear the voice of an angel to my right asking me, “Shu 3abelik lyom?” I turn around hurriedly as the voice knocked me off my feet, only to find that his face matches his voice. I, since that moment, have not been able to leave that Starbucks.