7 Of The Scariest Things You Can Say To Your Lebanese Parents

Halloween is right around the corner. For most, a nightmare situation would be Jurassic World meets World War Z (unless Brad Pitt was around but that’s unlikely). For us Lebanese, a scenario just as terrifying can occur right at home, and this special situation isn’t reserved for October 31st.

Here, we present the 7 scariest things you can say to your Lebanese parents.

1. I’m going out tonight, I’m not sure what time I’ll be back

You can try. You might even be encouraged to leave the house (note: this is a test).
However, based on personal experience, I can tell you that you’re probably staying at home.

Danger level: 7/10

2. I’ve decided to drop out of university. There are enough doctors and engineers in this world. I’m going to be… AN ARTIST

Possibly one of the most dangerous things you can say to a Lebanese parent.
Side note: ‘artist’ can be replaced. This applies to aspiring writers, musicians and basically any profession that requires creativity.

Danger level: 10/10

3. I don’t think I’m going to get married. Marriage is overrated and it’s not for me

This is the part where you turn and run. Run and don’t look back.

Danger level: 9/10

4. I’m not hungry

Oh you’re a brave one. This is in the same category as “I’m full” or “I already ate.”
Prepare to feel the wrath of your mama/teta/amto for the rest of your life.

Danger level: 6/10

5. I’m traveling

You are? Surely you’re going to need your passport for that. Good luck finding it now that your parents know your plans.

Danger level: 5/10

6. I’m moving in with my boyfriend

Are you now?
Especially dangerous if you say this in a confident manner.

Danger level: 11/10

7. I’m going to get a tattoo

Unless you want body art that seriously resembles a life-size flip flop for the rest of your life, you keep this one to yourself.

Danger level: 6/10