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Mia Arawi 22 Oct 2018

10 Thoughts You Have During A First Date In Lebanon

Whether you’re on a new date every day or once every 6 months, first date jitters are inevitable and the thoughts that cross your mind can be pretty… interesting.

Here is a list of thoughts you have during a first date in Lebanon.

1. Please don’t be a psycho

You met on Tinder and it’s the first time you get together, in the most public place of course, but you still can’t help feel slightly paranoid. Are you going to end up in a dump somewhere or will you make it home safe by the end of the night? Stay tuned.

2. You look taller in your pictures

Not a shallow person but it’s kind of deceiving when you’re expecting LeBron James but get Kevin Hart instead. On to more important things.

3. I hope I don’t run into anyone I know

First dates are awkward enough seeing someone you know and having to introduce them to your date. How would you do that anyway? Hi this is the guy/girl whose number I’ll be deleting when I’m home? Doesn’t sound right.

4. I can literally see you looking at my cleavage

You’ll try to redirect vision to your face repeatedly to no avail. The staring persists and now you’re uncomfortable and back to thought #1.

5. I hope you’re not a Trump supporter

Or a supporter of any Lebanese politician for that matter, they’re interchangeably horrid.

6. Omg stop talking about yourself

They’ve been going on non-stop about what they do for a living, their family, hobbies, gym workout, and car. You’re on deep breath number 23 and your 6th bathroom break but they still haven’t even bothered to ask what you do for a living.

7. I wonder if I can escape from the bathroom

It’s official, this has been deemed a bad date and you just want it to end already. You don’t want to be rude so you’re still politely nodding but mentally you’re trying to figure out where the bathroom window will lead you.

8. Please don’t kiss me

You’ve had your fair share of bad first dates, each one ending with a lousy kiss. It’s tiring and a waste of lipstick, so now to play the dodging game.

9. This is the last first date I’m going on

You end every date you’ve ever been on with this promise, the same way you promise you’re starting a diet or going to the gym. Of course, you never carry through but then again loneliness is a bitch.

10. I have failed my mother yet again

Your mother still hasn’t given up on the idea that your other half is somewhere waiting for you. With every first date her hopes are slightly up and by the end of every night you burst her bubble. Oh well, it is what it is.