6 Times Your Lebanese Relatives Gave You Life Advice You Definitely Didn’t Ask For

Unwanted advice: one of the main reasons we dread the weekly, monthly or even annual family gathering. Whether they want to talk about our weight, marital status or career choices, our relatives always have something to say and no amount of kibbe or hummus will stop them.

Spoiler alert: regardless of the conversation, the advice is there to help you achieve one thing in particular. You’ll see what I mean.

1. You don’t seem to be proud enough of your roots. You’re Lebanese, and don’t you forget it.

2. You’re 22 and still unmarried. You need to do something about it, and soon. You don’t want to be on your own forever do you? *Tuts in disapproval*

3. You work too much. How are you ever going to meet someone? You need to spend more time at home and we’ll teach you how to cook – they don’t teach you that in your office, do they?

4. You’ve gained weight. No, really – you’re a lot bigger than you were this time last week. You should go on a diet. I will get you a very good doctor and you will be slim and beautiful in no time.

5. You are too skinny. You’ll never meet someone looking like this. Why aren’t you eating? Leh wijik 2asfar? Are you sick? You look sick.

6. When I was your age, I was married with five children. Where are your children? Wait, where is your husband? Let me find you one before it’s too late.