Schedules are updated every Thursday.
Lebanese tetas are always trying to figure out exactly what you do to see if it’s more important than eating and hanging out with them all day.
So even if you continuously explain your job, teta will always find unique ways to understand it. Here are some.
If you’re a doctor
Congrats, you’ve been awarded the “Most Accomplished Grandchild” award! No matter how many times you explain that you’re a dermatologist or a psychiatrist, she’ll always demand you to tchefla el disque bi dahra aw tchefla dosage dawa el a3sab.
If you’re an engineer
Congrats again, you are also a Lebanese family favorite. You have explained to your teta SO many times that the industrial engineering degree from AUB got you a great post in Dubai as a project manager at a tech startup. Nevertheless, she’s always going to ask you to check Leh el chauffage ma 3am bya3teh w leh 3am bi herr el sa2ef.
If you’re a lawyer
It probably means that you’re not the first lawyer in the family, but if you dare to be working on your own as a legal manager in the corporate world let’s say and not with your family’s firm, you teta will never ever understand it:
Teb to2borne ma 3am befham leh mech feyet ma3 bayak w jeddak bel 2adaya chou na2sak?.
If you’re a consultant
Everyone knows you work 16 hours a day for Gulf projects but your dear teta will not come to terms with it. She will be FaceTime-ing you mid-workday asking where her forsaken Tupperware is. And, she damn sure knows that you are not even in the country for another couple of months.
If you’re a school teacher
“Yaane ma fhemet bet adde wa2tik ma3 wled bas ma beddik tetzawajeh w tjibeh wle hayartina”.
That pretty much sums up your teta’s perception of your career.
If you work in social media
“Enta yalli btaamle ‘el sabah el kheir w el ward w el yasmine’ yalli beb3atlak yeha kel yom?”
Then, she’ll force you to fix her tablet a.k.a teach her how to use WhatsApp and Facebook again.
“Merci, to2borne. Bass 3younak mab byouja3ouk toul el wa2et edem el checheh?”
If you’re a pharmacist
According to your teta, you are a doctor and there is no going back. She will bug you about not opening a pharmacy under her house. You’ll even be receiving day calls from your teta and 3amto asking you about the difference between their beloved Xanax and Lexotanil.
If you’re a freelancer
In your teta’s eyes you are unemployed, but that is not a bad thing because her house becomes your office with unlimited snacks and meals. And she will never get the concept of working remotely.
Teb kif bet tal3o hal2ad masareh mama, walla bravo. 3am bet addem 3a masters bas?.