Listomania
7 Things Lebanese Mothers Will Never Ever Understand
Ask your mom about any of these situations and see how she reacts…
1. Birthday parties where you have to pay for yourself
In the eyes of your Lebanese mother, a birthday invitation means mu3ajanet, mini sandwiches, and possibly a piñata. So naturally, she won’t process birthdays in which you have to pay minimum charge and buy a gift too.
“Kif ya3ne ma3zoume 3ala 3id miled w badik tedfa3e, shu hal manti2?”
2. Restaurants that have a strict “No Reservations” rule
“Kif yaane ma btekhdo hajez? Walaw…nhar a7ad kif ra7 yle2o ma7al yeklo el 3alam?”
Once you’re there, it’s guaranteed that your mom will snap at the waiter for putting you on the waiting list.
“Ayya waiting list ayya ballout, shou hal nizam hayda? Men el awal khedo hajez.”
3. Going out with your friends for JUST drinks
“Shou mama kif ken el 3acha?
“Mnih bass ken drinks w hek ma akalna”
“Kif haydeh daharto w ma akalto? E3edtileh bala akel, la oum lefelik 3arous labneh”
4. Visitors that reject her dyafeh
Lebanese mothers never take no for an answer and that means they’ll start getting suspicious once someone rejects their dyafeh more than once.
“Laykeh mama, beha chi hay sahebtik ma btekol? Awlik btestehe?”
5. Visiting someone and not being offered any dyafeh
Likewise, your mother will not understand if you were not offered sandwiches, cookies and English cake when you visit someone’s house.
6. Visiting someone empty-handed
“Kif yaaneh rayha idik fadyeh? Shou rah y2oulo 3anna el jame3a?”
7. Vouchers with an expiry date
You’ll always find a Lebanese mom at an ABC counter arguing that she didn’t know her voucher had a one year expiry date.
“ Ya3ne walaw mar2oulna yeha. Ken bi jezdeneh kel el wa2et w la hala2 la ntabahet. Bta3rfo bi kam shaghleh ata3et hal sene? Walaw zabtoulna yeha.”
