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Beirut.com 24 Apr 2020

15 Things You’ll Relate To If You’re From Beirut

Daouk, Itani, Sinno, Shatila, Kreidieh, Mneimneh, Doughan, Houry, and all others – check out these surefire signs that you come from a Beiruti family.

1. Wejbet are EXTREMELY important.

Your parents have a little black book to keep track of whether or not you attended every function from the last 3azza to the latest 3azeemeh.

2. You live for mfat2a.

Your teta is the only person who’ll still churn that out for you! But in a pinch, you can always order from Al Makary Sweets!

3. Rawda Cafe is the ultimate weekend hangout spot, along with the neighboring Sporting Club and Long Beach.

Arguile + cheap snacks = Beiruti heaven. Oh, and you’re always the first bunch to hit the beach.

4. You’re convinced that Beirut fiya sabe3 3iyal asliye bass.

And there are many arguments about who qualifies.

5. 3azzaweit are a good time to catch up with anyone and everyone.

You’ll also probably get harassed by a woman whose son is apparently a real catch.

6. Every Beiruti family has a story about being majorly wronged by another Beiruti family.

And it usually involves being conned out of a lot of money. We could have been millionaires!

7. You have your unique and 100% accurate definition of what BEIRUT is.

You know exactly where it begins and where it ends.

7. Your family has at one point or another, been invited to an iftar by a Hariri or a Makhzoumi.

Maybe soon a Diab?

8. If you don’t stuff your face at a gathering, the host is bound to complain.

Ma akalto shi! Wallah 3ayb

9. You know exactly where you fall on the “is it mjadra or mdardra” debate.

Mjadra = the mashed lentils; mdardra = rice and lentils.

10. It’s literally the place where everybody knows your name.

That can be good, or really bad.

11. You all live one block away from each other.

Moving out of your family home typically means moving into the building next door. You would consider a ride to Hazmieh to be a major road trip.

12. You and your teta are convinced that she makes the best maamoul ever, nonnegotiable.

13. You know that Beirut is the ultimate final destination.

You’ll always find a way to be repatriated, whether you come back alive or in a coffin.

14. Your mother’s ultimate goal is to find you a partner who is also from Beirut (because otherwise, she feels useless.)

Mabrouuuuk, la2eit wahad/wehde men beirut!

15. Although it’s embarrassing, you can totally relate to Abu Riad

Ma aneh!