Schedules are updated every Thursday.
It’s been a few days since Valentine’s Day, and if you’re having second thoughts about your brand new boo, here are a few red flags you might have missed.
1. If they post a picture of the snowy mountains and a view of the sea and caption it “This is my Lebanon”
…or a picture of a church and mosque next to each other.
2. If they still support a Lebanese political party.
3. If they mistake self-confidence for self-obsession, aka all they talk about is how amazing they are
4. When they ask you about your accent to try to trace your religion
Baddak l hawiyye fared marra?
5. Or if they say they never dated someone “men 3endkon”
Are you collecting medals walla shu?
6. If they’ve uttered the phrase, “Ana ma3 ho2oo2 l mar2a bas 3am b zeedowa shway”
7. OR: “Ana behterem l gays bas ma y2arbo sawbe”
8. If they say “habibe” and wink at the valet before handing them the money
MAJOR red flag.
9. When they listen to Wadih El Sheikh
10. And if they dedicate a song to you in public and it goes “Lamma dommek 3a sdere”
…ya ared nsha22e w bla3eene.
11. If they ever point out that they’re “open-minded”…
12. Then proceed to be sexist, racist, and homophobic.
13. If they think it’s charming to be grossly possessive.
“Meen hayda el shabb 3al Facebook 3indik?”
14. When they call Lebanese politicians “geniuses” cos sara2o l balad and got away with it
15. When they say they’re not going to vote in the elections
Especially if they add “cause [insert party name] nsahabo”.
16. When they say you can ski and go swimming on the same day unironically
17. When they try to convince you that the vaccine contains a microchip or is going to kill you in ten years
Or they believe Corona doesn’t exist at all.