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Lama Hajj 02 Mar 2022

Animal Killer Marwan Kheireddine Running For Elections

Editorial Note: Theft, murder, and corruption are not exclusive to this candidate.

Great news! One of the many despised politicians is running for the upcoming parliamentary elections.

After tormenting humans by way of trapping their deposits in his bank and literally hunting endangered animals for fun, former Lebanese Minister of State and Al-Mawarid Bank Chairman Marwan Kheireddine has decided to run for elections once again. Because what Lebanon needs now is a seasoned banker and animal murderer.

As if that wasn’t enough, the banker, ex minister, and financier extraordinaire purchased Jennifer Lawrence’s $9.9 million penthouse in New York City while our own country crashed and burned. Here are some photos of what he bought with our money.

Look at that beautiful skyline, a feature Lebanese politicians have made sure we don’t enjoy in Beirut:

Notice how the house is intact without any state negligence threatening it?

News of Marwan’s NYC investment surfaced the same day a massive explosion rocked Beirut and decimated a large part of the city and murdered 220 people.

This man is now running for the Druze seat (how ridiculous is our system?) in Hasbaya at the request of Speaker Berri and the behest of Walid Joumblatt, according to AlAhdath 24. A truly stellar cast.

Kheireddine is the chairman and CEO of Al Mawarid bank in Lebanon, a bank that has trapped depositors’ money and blocked international transfers. Lawrence took a staggering $5.7 million loss on the sale, so technically a Lebanese banker managed to screw yet another person! The apartment comes with common charges of over $5,700 month as well as taxes and insurance that surmount to $100,000 a year. Lebanon, the country where Kheireddine was a dutiful public servant, is currently in the midst of its worst economic crisis and an unprecedented dollar shortage.

This is how Twitter reacted to news of his candidacy:

Kheireddine also owns the franchise for Virgin Megastores so…boo Virgin. Enjoy the penthouse and your safaris, Marwan! Hope you (and every other traditional Lebanese politician) lose.